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Sunday, June 18, 2006
The Wedding As excited as I was about being a marriage officer, I have to admit that with everything else going on in my life I haven’t really been able to prioritize performing marriages above my business and the time I spend doing Council work. In fact, until a week ago today, I had yet to perform a ceremony. Those wheels started turning nearly a month and a half ago when towards the end of a chat with my mother, I asked, “So, anything else going on?” “Tony and I are getting married,” she said. Tony is her boyfriend of nearly 11 years and my mother is the queen of dropping huge information like this as though she was telling you what rerun of a particularly boring show she was watching on television. In monotone she added, “We’re going to Vegas.” For her and Tony, this isn’t shorthand for a typical shotgun wedding. They genuinely love that city and vacation there nearly every year. They have threatened a move to Nevada just as soon as they can “tie up loose ends” in Rochester. Taking the institution more lightly than Federal Marriage Amendment supporting right-wingers might like, I said, “Well, I can’t provide an Elvis impersonator but your son is now a marriage official if you want to get married a little closer to home.” She only said, “Oh, that’s neat,” so I dropped it. Two days later, though, she called me back to say that she and Tony wanted to take me up on my offer to perform their ceremony. Mom’s excitement seemed to grow by the day, and what was supposed to be a five-person affair (bride, groom, two witnesses, and me) became a 45-person celebration with full reception. My role expanded to pseudo wedding planner, being asked to scope a site for a the ceremony, a place for the reception, write a more personalized service, and consult for relatives who had a hard time buying gifts. I did draw the line at cake research. I worried all week about what the weather was going to be like. If you’re familiar at all with Ithaca weather, you know that clouds roll in and out on a dime (and that usually those clouds are dark and dripping). Weeks before, we had spied a place at Stewart Park along the water for the ceremony with no back-up plan for cover if it was rainy. Friends and family were sent mapquest directions to the park and would simply meet us at the spot to hear Mom and Tony exchange vows. Then, we’d caravan to Za Za’s Cucina for a lovely Italian dinner and wine. In the end, everything came together and the wedding went off as well or better than expected. After a cold morning, the sun started shining through the clouds to take the edge off of the breeze, Mom was absolutely beautiful in her wedding dress, all the guests found the park and seemed to genuinely enjoy the service, I got to see a bunch of my relatives that I didn’t know where coming (including my grandmother), lots of wonderful photographs were taken (which I’ll share if I ever see them), dinner was fantastic, and people seemed to have a great time. The whole thing was over in an informal, yet emotion-filled, 4-1/2 hours. It was really as genuine and beautiful as any of those weddings that couples spend a year planning. And how cool that after 11 years, when Mom and Tony finally decided to formalize their relationship, that I could marry them. | private feedback | Comments:
Congrats to your mom and Tony, and congrats to you on performing your first marriage! It's great that you could do that for your mother, and I'm glad the weather held out.
I haven't been to Zaza's in WAY too long. How's it holding up?
Congratulations to your mother. That is so cool that you got to perform her marriage ceremony. I am sure that ir was extremely meaningful for her to have her son be the one to pronounce the vows.
Cool. Wish Geneva would get as cool. (On the other hand, our overall birkenstock to life ration is a bit better. But its not as gay/lesbian friendly as it should be.
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Hey! I'm Shane... a proud gay progressive Democrat who has recently relocated to New York City from Ithaca, NY. As I am no longer in Ithaca, I haven't quite decided the fate of this blog. Drop me a line!
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