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Monday, September 25, 2006
Back in the blogging saddle My apologies to anyone who has come here in the last month-and-a-half and found the same post staring back at you. (And my thanks if you kept coming back to look in spite of it.) I've sat down to write something a bunch of times and I only feel the weight of all the things I could share (and where should I start?). A LOT has happened in that time. The first was that I finally got a vacation. It has been about two years since I have had a real vacation. In the beginning of August my business partners and I closed shop for two weeks. The second of those weeks I spent in Provincetown, Mass with my mother and her husband. It was a lovely week, we lucked out with the weather. During the day, Mom and Tony and I would go on whale watches, or check out drag kickball fundraisers, sightsee on the cape, and shop. And at night, usually shortly after dinner, I'd go back into town and take in shows, movies, and the vibrant nightlife. For the past few years, Tony had been struggling with cancer, and his health was much worse than we had anticipated it would be when we made the travel plans months earlier. We managed to be as inclusive as possible, but Provincetown is not the easiest place to navigate with a wheelchair. We had arrived on Sunday and were doing fine until Thursday when Tony said he wasn’t feeling well and asked if we would mind going home early. We stayed one last night and managed to get on the road Friday morning. But, just about the time we got off the cape, Tony passed away in the front seat of the SUV. He died two months to the day after he and mom were married. We couldn't have anticipated when we left Rochester that this would have happened. Friday afternoon was a blur of police, emergency responders, funeral home directors, and cell phones ringing. Unfortunately, I learned what to do when someone passes away on a car trip. I hope never to have to use that knowledge again. I had never been that close to Tony. Though his struggle with cancer had mellowed him out quite a bit. And he and I had absolutely bonded on this trip. We were laughing, and by the last day, I was ordering his food for him. Sometimes, I would even harass the waiters and waitresses for him. (This was a favorite pastime of his.) I am thankful that I got that time, this vacation, with him. Now, of course, my main concern was being there for Mom and supporting her through what would be a tough period of transition. I stayed in Rochester as long as I could, came back to work for a few days, and then went back to Rochester for another half-week so that Mom would have some company. She’s a strong one, and had a lot of support in Rochester, but I just wanted to be there for her. Coming back to Ithaca after three weeks of being away from the office took its toll physically. I got whatever stomach flu was going around and was in bed for another three days, trying to drag myself to the office whenever I could. I'm really only now catching up on all of the things that went undone those three weeks. [Did I mention that I also gave up coffee during those four weeks? Actually, I started my detox after we came back early from Provincetown... having gorged myself on frozen coffee drinks for the week... I decided that I had to break the cycle of mid-morning caffeine withdrawal headaches and the roller coaster energy cycle I had been on. I am very happy to say I've transitioned to the occasional decaf coffee and that green tea is my beverage of choice now. Next stop, herbal!] I've been back to Rochester a few times since late August. Lori and I went over Labor Day weekend to stay and see a Rochester Red Wings game. While the game was historic (the first no-hitter at the Red Wings stadium), it was also the most boring. Better luck next season, I guess. So I guess that was all just to say that I have focused the last few months on my family and myself. And hopefully, with that explanation out of the way, I'll be posting on my semi-regular basis again. Thanks for hanging in there with me. | private feedback | |
Hey! I'm Shane... a proud gay progressive Democrat who has recently relocated to New York City from Ithaca, NY. As I am no longer in Ithaca, I haven't quite decided the fate of this blog. Drop me a line!
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