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Tuesday, February 25, 2003
This time tomorrow... ...if all goes according to plan, I'll be touching down in Fort Lauderdale, FL. After the week I've had, I desperately need the time away. I'm all aflutter, as evidenced by this bizarre feeling in my stomach... I can't quite tell if its excitement, apprehension, or a mix of both... And I know it has just as much to do with my trip as about what might or might not happen when I return to Ithaca. So many conflicting emotions all at the same time... I'm nervous because... ... I'm pale as a ghost and I didn't do any pre-tanning like a couple of my friends are doing for their upcoming Florida trip. ... I've never been to Florida before. ... I've only flown one other time since 9/11, and we weren't under an orange alert then. ... I don't have any decent shorts. I'm excited because... ... Lori printed out the weather report for the days we'll be in Fort Lauderdale. The lowest temp? 81. ... Penny is talking about renting a convertible. ... This is all very spontaneous, we're checking out hotels WHEN WE GET THERE. So, there won't be any posts from me until Sunday or Monday... Have a great rest of your week and a great weekend! | private feedback | (0) public comments Monday, February 24, 2003  Kailijah I just attended what easily could be counted as one of the most emotionally turbulent situations imaginable. I have two dear friends who have been trying to have a baby for quite some time... And they were overjoyed to announce both a pregnancy and an engagement at about the same time, late last November. I couldn't have been happier for them. And then, last week, at five or six months along, my friend lost her baby. Little Kailijah was born into this world prematurely... was showered with love and affection for just shy of an hour... and departed. The obituary is amazingly well written, and brings me to tears everytime I read (or even think about) it... Kailijah (pronounced Ky-lee-ah) was born and graced our lives on Wednesday, February 19th. She stayed long enough to touch our hearts before going home to our ancestors nearly an hour later. Despite her brief lifetime, Kailijah's life was a lesson in courage, love, and unselfish living. Rather than make her parents, especially her mother, wait a painful two weeks to find out if she might have some chance at life, Kailijah chose to wait for another time to walk this Earth with her family. The time she spent in her father's arms taught him to face fear head-on and overcome it. Her arrival, and news of her departure, on Wednesday also brought out more love and support for the parents from family and friends than either knew they had in Ithaca. Kailijah is now in Heaven where she can be held, cuddled, and loved by God, but she will live on in her family's hearts forever. The family asks that those reading this announcement embrace, kiss, and tell those closest to them, 'I love you' in honor of Kailijah. Today was Kailijah's 'Homegoing Celebration.' Prayers were led, poetry was read by friends of the family and Kailijah's older brother, Kailijah's mother and father serenaded her with drums and the trumpet, respectively. (Bette Midler's 'The Rose' will have a brand new meaning for me after this afternoon.) The Rose Some say love, it is a river that drowns the tender reed. Some say love, it is a razor that leaves your soul to bleed. Some say love, it is a hunger, an endless aching need. I say love, it is a flower, and you its only seed. It's the heart afraid of breaking that never learns to dance. It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance. It's the one who won't be taken, who cannot seem to give, and the soul afraid of dyin' that never learns to live. When the night has been too lonely and the road has been to long, and you think that love is only for the lucky and the strong, just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows lies the seed that with the sun's love in the spring becomes the rose. For me, a ceremony celebrating a life cut short, especially that of a child, is more emotionally charged than that for an adult who has lived a full and long adulthood. Not only do we celebrate accomplishments and connections, but we also mourn the potential, those things that could have been... the things the person may or may not have done in their lifetime. And Kailijah would have accomplished great things and taken the world by storm with two parents as loving as my friends are. But, as short as this 'flash of life' was, the pastor reminds us... we were blessed to have been graced by the gift of Kailijah.  Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructable be found in us. I learned an important lesson this weekend... everything that happens to us in this life is a gift. EVERYTHING. Even when it seems like the worst possible loss will cripple us... this loss could actually force us to focus our energy in a new direction where the rewards will be immense... or this loss may cause us to do some reflection that will make us stronger as an individual than we ever were. Or, as in my case, a 'loss' may give you the resolve to pursue possibilities that are suddenly cast in a new light. | private feedback | (0) public comments Friday, February 21, 2003 More inspiration I've been having a particularly difficult afternoon, and all I could think of that would help was a hug from Lori. So on my late lunch, I trekked over to her office and found her... I sat with Dar Dar too since she was at their office. They're amazingly great at making sure I'm focusing on the right lessons out of every life experience. Darlene handed me this speech by Nelson Mandella (below) and recommended that I buy a few books by Pema Chodron as an affiramation of the progress I'm making with my growth and not letting things bother me inappropriately. I ended up buying 'When Things Fall Apart' and 'The Places That Scare You.' and am looking forward to reading them this weekend and while I'm on the beach in FL. Nelson Mandella - 1994 Inaugural Speech Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate..... Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, to be gorgeous, talented, and fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that others won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God within us. And as we let our light shine, we consciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others. And, I found this amazing site with inspirational quotes. | private feedback | (0) public comments Maybe Alison Krauss Yesterday the odds were stacked in favor of my expectations. Flyin' above the rest. Never fallin' from the nest. Tuesday came and went and now I'm in a little situation. Maybe it's for the best. I can live alone, I guess. Forgive me if I'm keeping you apart from better conversation. I'm hung up on all my doubt. Trying to sort the whole thing out. Tell me that I'm smart enough to deal with all the information, Spinning inside my head. Every word he ever said. Maybe I can stand alone. And maybe I'm strong as stone. Even though the bird has flown. But maybe he'll fly on home. | private feedback | (0) public comments Thursday, February 20, 2003 A lesbian, a gay guy and and a straight woman are on a plane... No, that's not the beginning of a joke... or a new twist on the fellowship-of-the-ring tale... that's a trip I'm taking next week! Just a few days ago, Lori called and said, 'Shane, Penny and I just bought some really cheap tickets to Florida. You wanna go?' I had had a rough afternoon, and was on the verge of a breakdown... so it only took a few minutes to convince me that I needed to leave the land of the frozen north and head to Fort Lauderdale. Yay for spontaneity! We're still working out lodging details, but this will be a welcome break from work, stress, and snow. | private feedback | (0) public comments  Poetry seemingly conquers all...
Throughout the entire series, I have wanted The Bachelorette's Trista to choose Ryan. At the same time I was predicting, like most everyone else, that she would actually pick Charlie. (Charlie was just so damned sure of himself.) But, for me, there was just something about Ryan... some sort of dedicated romanticism and gentle persistence that got to me in a deeper way than the more flashy Charlie. You could just tell that Ryan was pouring his heart out (taking risks, if you will) in the face of very little positive feedback from Trista... all hoping that he would make the final, and ultimate cut. He painted white tigers for her when he found out that was her favorite animal, he sprinkled their dates with poetry and you could even tell by how he walked that he had fallen for her, and hard. And last night, as an anti-testament to 'nice guys finish last,' she picked Ryan with these words: 'This day is a day I dreamed about my entire life. I see smiles and laughter, I see babies and grandbabies, I see comfort and safety. I see me in a white dress and I see it with you.' | private feedback | (0) public comments Wednesday, February 19, 2003 Study of lesbian monkeys challenges theory of evolution... This article is only a bit less funny than the idea that when someone read it they instantly thought of me and forwarded it on. ;-) Thanks, J! | private feedback | (0) public comments Taking Risks... The one good thing that came out of attending the life coach presentation and from talking with my friend Dar Dar was that I finally vocalized a goal that I have been wanting to focus on. (When you say it out loud, apparently, your goal gains new weight.) When I was asked to share the 'dream for my life' with complete strangers... I said, 'My dream is that I'll never miss an opportunity.' One of the folks I shared that with was the instructor... who immediately asked me 'So how are you going to accomplish that?' (Apparently that's what life coaches do, they ask you a lot of questions.) And I had to think fast since she was looking right into my eyes... 'I guess that means I'm going to have to live more in the moment instead of always looking for the next best thing.' 'Bingo!' she bellowed... and of course she told me about a seminar she was teaching called 'The Joy Of Now' just that very next week if I wanted to plunk down the money. This was all ‘pre-hand puppets’ and so I was still taking the presentation half-seriously. But let me develop my dream a little bit further ‘cause I think it will help me… (and hopefully won’t be too boring a read for you). Have you ever had the chance to do something, didn’t, and then regretted it in the morning or even just five minutes later? The ‘kick-yourself-the-next-day feeling’ I call it. This happens to me all the time … and I hate it. And I attribute this to two things. 1.) I don’t live 100% in the moment so I’m never completely aware of opportunities as they arise, and 2.) I’m afraid of risking and putting myself out there because I might fail. Seizing an opportunity is very risky. I think my overall reluctance to seize opportunities manifests itself in every part of my life… especially my personal/dating life. So now that I’ve identified my challenges, what do I do about them? I’ve been finding that awareness is key. I’m super sensitive to when I’m not really a participant in the moment that I’m living and try to correct it on the spot… And as for the taking risks part… well that’s going to take some work. Over the past two weeks I’ve taken two of what I consider to be big risks, seizing opportunities when they presented themselves. Both sort of flopped. (No, who am I kidding, they both flopped in a major way.) But the good news, is that in both cases I certainly didn’t have the ‘kick-yourself-the-next-day’ feeling because I had nothing to kick myself about... no regrets. I guess the lesson to be learned is that the outcomes we fear really aren’t that bad after all. Which brings me to another little nugget of wisdom that I gleaned from the Joe Millionaire Finale… (see, there is some good in those silly reality shows after all.) I don’t remember which of the two final lovely ladies said it, but the quote is something like, ‘I’d rather regret something I did, than something I didn’t do.’ Amen, sister. I’m going to try to internalize that one. And then, Dar Dar… what can I say about Dar Dar? Sometimes she just says something that just makes so much sense it’s scary. Each time my risk-taking flopped, I called her so that she could give me that boost to get back on the horse and tell me why what happened really wasn’t that bad at all, and in fact if you looked at it the right way it was a positive thing. Two of her statements stuck in my head from our conversation yesterday. I’m going to paraphrase a little, so I hope I still get the gyst of the words… 1. How we respond to adversity can be an intense learning experience in itself and tells us more about ourselves than most anything else. 2. Managing your expectations can be just as important as how you respond to outcomes. So, if you get excited, make sure you have something to get excited about… and make sure it’s the right thing to be excited about so that you’re not setting yourself up for disappointments. Ah, Dar Dar, you are wise beyond your years. So, as with anything else in life and personal growth… this is a continuing journey… and I have far to go. [Here’s a poem that Dar Dar sent me by email this morning…] RISK Author unknown To laugh is to risk appearing the fool To weep is to risk appearing sentimental To reach out to others is to risk involvement To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self To place your ideas, your dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss To love is to risk not being loved in return To live is to risk dying To hope is to risk despair To try is to risk failure But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to do nothing. The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, and is nothing. They may avoid suffering and sorrow, but they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live. Chained by their attitudes, they are a slave, they forfeited their freedom. Only the person who risks can be free | private feedback | (0) public comments Tuesday, February 18, 2003 Lucky Duckies... The latest installment. | private feedback | (0) public comments Monday, February 17, 2003 A higher state of mental being or So what if I don't have a boyfriend on Valentine's Day... Valentine's Day this year has taken a radical departure from years past. Namely, I didn't feel sorry for myself because I didn't have a boyfriend, and I didn't get overwhelmingly depressed. I like to think of this as making personal progress or personal growth. And why? Mostly because I had FOUR Lesbian valentines! I think that more than makes up for one affectionate gay male valentine, don't you? (Especially considering the fact that one of them is the only woman I've ever made out with. And no, it wasn't in high school, it was literally not that long ago... but I digress.) My evening had all the classic Valentine's Day elements... dinner, a movie and dancing. I had dinner at Mano's (Mano's is a diner, so not very valentine-y but still very much fun) with Lori and Darlene... and then saw Chicago with them as well. They put me in such a great frame of mind. And then I met Denise and Jane who I haven't seen in what seems like forever (since the make-out incident with Denise) for catching up and more great conversation and dancing. (They are a fucking blast -- pardon my French.) And the way Denise and I were hanging all over eachother, there certainly could have been the chance for the final Valentine's Day element... if you know what I mean... (but there IS that whole 'she's got a vagina' thing I can't really get around). Which leads me to my new motto, 'When you've got lesbians, who needs a boyfriend!?' The only, only thing that could have made my night MORE perfect would have been the presence of my fifth 'best-lesbian-friend'... Cheri. Alas, she had other plans... Cheri, you were sorely missed. You know I love you, too, babycakes! | private feedback | (0) public comments Comics say the darndest things From today's Boondocks: President Bush said today it was clear that nothing short of a complete and utter disregard of U.N. resolutions would stop Saddam Hussein's complete and utter disregard of U.N. resolutions. If you think its too early to be talking about the '04 Presidential Race... ... then you'll definitely think its too early to float ideas about who might run for Governor of NY in '06. But here's an article about it anyway. (From the disgusting NY Post.) Gov. Pataki is acting... like... a... Republican. *Gasp* Surprise, surprise. All you voters who thought George Pataki was going to continue acting like a Democrat AFTER the election... He sure fooled you! Read this article from Rochester's Democrat and Chronicle that I've excerpted below: Since the election: * Pataki has said the state is facing an $11.5 billion budget deficit. He has proposed a zero-growth, $90.8 billion budget that would cut state aid to schools by more than $1.2 billion and reduce state spending on Medicaid health care for the poor by $1 billion. He has refused to raise broad-based taxes. * Pataki proclaimed Feb. 6 as Ronald Reagan Day in New York. That is the former president’s birthday. The darling of conservatives, Reagan is the last Republican presidential candidate to carry New York, a feat he accomplished in both 1980 and 1984. * The Pataki-led state GOP machinery has been cranking up attacks against New York’s two Democratic U.S. senators, Charles Schumer and Hillary Rodham Clinton. | private feedback | (0) public comments  Now I understand...
... why Chicago got so many Oscar Nominations this year. (Thirteen!) Lori, Dar Dar and I went to see it after work Friday. Holy amazing, Batman! The minute Catherine Zeta-Jones started 'All That Jazz,' my mouth dropped and I was in awe the entire way through. The musical numbers intertwined with the story seamlessly... everything built upon the moment before and every one of those actors (barring Richard Gere... and maybe the guy who did the 'Mr. Cellophane' number) was phenomenal. I was pleasantly surprised to see Christine Baranski in the movie. I had no idea she had a part. And Queen Latifah... Well, what can you say about her? Her number, 'When You're Good to Mama' was one of my favorites (and apparently a favorite in the jukebox at RAIN... I had heard it there long before seeing the movie.) Go see this movie! And love it! ;-) I have a new favorite for 'Best Picture.' | private feedback | (0) public comments Useless factoid of the day: Ithaca, NY to thank for the Ice Cream Sundae? Epodunk.com's profile of Ithaca says that we claim to be the birthplace of the ice cream sundae. It seems a number of cities actually claim to have created the first ice cream sundae. Ithaca, however, is the only city with evidence in their favor. Our newspaper featured an advertisement promoting a "Cherry Sunday" in 1892. Go Ithaca!  Thursday, February 13, 2003 SHE'S IN! Carol Moseley-Braun WILL run for President! | private feedback | (0) public comments The best news I've heard in a while... George Pataki's Approval Rating Hits Seven-Year Low | private feedback | (0) public comments Runnin' on less than 4 hours of sleep... ... I won't speculate here why I couldn't sleep (maybe the cup of coffee I had at 9 PM? Maybe some other reason?), but luckily I had stuff to do... I watched my tapes of The Bachelorette and Celebrity Mole from earlier in the evening ('cause I had something better to do when they were on). It was such a treat to be able to fast forward through the commercials! Those silly men on The Bachelorette, all trying to save face... until it comes time for Trista to come out and set them all straight. And does anyone else have any doubts that she's going to pick Charlie over Ryan... ... and who knew Frederique was the mole!? (Hey Mikey, isn't that what *you* thought?) But hysterical Kathy Griffin won... Ya'ay Kathy! So I'm sorta happy. Although if you watched the details, it was by the skin of her teeth, she pretty much tied for the worst score on a couple elimination exams but she was smart enough to try to get through them faster than her opponents. And I could have gone without seeing Stephen Baldwin ever again... he's so disgusting. Without feeling even a bit tired after watching my shows, I had to find SOMETHING to do... so I decided to watch the DVD I had borrowed from Lori and Dar Dar, I Am Sam with Michelle Pfeiffer and Sean Penn. Have you seen this movie? What an emotional rollercoaster. I was crying during half of it... And not only was I crying in response to things that were happening, perhaps the lamest part is that I was crying IN ANTICIPATION of things to come. Oh man, I'm sure the late hour had something to do with it. ;-) It was pretty predictable, but I was in no mood to criticize it... I mean you pretty much knew that Rita (Michelle Pfeiffer) was going to reluctantly take mentally retarded Sam's (Sean Penn's) custody case... (He was fighting to retain custody of his 7 year-old daughter who would soon outdevelop his intellect). And you knew that Rita was going to come around to form a relationship with Sam and learn a life lesson... forumulaic stuff. But it was really touching and the lines that got to me the most were Annie's (Sam's friend) when she was testifying on behalf of Sam... she said something like, 'I know you think that Lucy is a wonderful child in spite of Sam. But she's really a wonderful child because of Sam.' That got over shortly after 4... I contemplated just staying up... but I don't think I've EVER pulled an all-nighter (even in college) so I tossed and turned and who knows when I finally hit dreamland. This morning I got an email from Lori... this part made me sad: Keelinn has pneumonia. She stayed with Wendy today after the doc, she was so exhausted she couldn't stay awake in the car. Poor little thing. She kept mumbling 'I knew it was pneumonia, the doctor shoulda listened to me", it was pathetic. Awwwwwwww. Get well, my cutie patootie princess! | private feedback | (0) public comments Wednesday, February 12, 2003 Mom's visit Mom was running late yesterday, and Lori got to my house before she did... Mom arrived shortly after and changed out of her work clothes. We walked to the Restaurant (Lost Dog) to meet Cheri and had a fantastic dinner. I love hanging out with Mom, cause I feel like I can totally be myself. And when I dish it out, she gives it right back... I'm sure we're super entertaining to my friends. :-) (And Mom entertains me, as well, until she gangs up with my friends against me which happened a few times last night. *grin*) Then, mom teased me by bringing up how she wanted to see Chicago. I was all gung-ho about it, but when we got back to my apartment she collapsed on the couch and so we didn't get back out last night... and besides, she had her class today and I have a presentation... so sleep was probably the best for both of us. We didn't get up this morning with enough time to grab breakfast... but we did chat over some hot chocolate while watching a re-run of Mama's Family on TBS and my ironing my clothes. It was nice to wake up and have someone else scurrying around the apartment getting ready. It felt all very cozy and full of life... | private feedback | (0) public comments Tuesday, February 11, 2003 Movies that I really wanna see... I couldn't believe that a friend of mine said there was absolutely nothing that he wanted to see playing right now... This is oscar season, man!!! First-Tier Movies... (I'd pass up my regularly scheduled reality TV shows to see these) About Schmidt Catch Me If You Can Chicago Frida The Hours Talk To Her Second-Tier Movies... (Toss-up between these and, say, The Bachelorette) Confessions of a Dangerous Mind Gangs of New York Brown Sugar Maid in Manhattan How to Lose A Guy In 10 Days And speaking of Oscar noms, BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE, the best documentary I've ever seen... was nominated for an Oscar! Way to go, Michael Moore! | private feedback | (0) public comments Mom's comin' to town... The highly anticipated event is finally here. My mother shall arrive shortly after I finish work. In preparation, I bought a futon, sheets and new pillows... I even scrubbed my plastic shower curtain... and I have a cupboard full of Pop Tarts (a love my mother and I share). I planned a nice dinner for us, and invited all my friends who adore her (only one can actually make it). She'll be attending a professional growth/training seminar in town tomorrow (she's up for a promotion in a few months, go Mom!) and passed up the opportunity to take it in Rochester so that she could spend an evening with me and have an excuse to leave the house for a night. This will be her first overnight stay at MY apartment... I'm feeling the same amount of anxiety that I felt when I hosted my first family Christmas. Such pressure... | private feedback | (0) public comments The Madness of George Dubbya I think when other countries create entire plays centered on what a buffoon our 'President' is, its time for a new one... new 'President' of course. (Or maybe I'm just jealous I can't *see* it.) Read the CNN.com article. Iowa... New Hampshire... South Carolina... and Arizona caucuses? Arizona Gov. moves up date of Arizona Democratic primary to give her state a presence in the presidential nominating process. And then there were... 8? Before the end of February, both US Senator Bob Graham (D-FL) and Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) plan to enter the Presidental contest. Graham plans to file his federal paperwork within the next two weeks. The liberal Kucinich, a sharp critic of the War on Terrorism, is expected to make his announcement at an upcoming appearance in Iowa. (They join John Kerry, Al Sharpton, Joe Lieberman, John Edwards, Dick Gephardt and Howard Dean...) | private feedback | (0) public comments Monday, February 10, 2003 Is this really a surprise? | private feedback | (0) public comments  Lame governor... even lamer Senator/Vice President
In a disturbing New York Post article today... raising the specter of targeted attacks against Hillary Clinton and Chuck Schumer, our star Senators... orchestrated by the state's republican party... But perhaps the scariest part is WHY... George Pataki is rumored to have his eyes on higher office... seeking either Chuck's Senate seat or the V.P. slot if Dick Cheney decides to step down for a potential second (Please, god, no!) Dubbya term. Yikes! With the '04 republican convention in N.Y., Pataki thinks he's got a good shot at the second-in-command job (and the republicans think they can take NY in '04! Pshaw! That's the day I leave New York for California.) From the article... 'State Republicans have decided to "take off the gloves" and launch tough attacks on Democratic U.S. Sens. Hillary Rodham Clinton and Chuck Schumer. The attacks, slated to begin in the next few days, represent a sharp turnabout for New York Republicans, who for the past two years avoided taking on top Democrats as Gov. Pataki moved to the political left and courted Democratic re-election support.' 'State Republicans contend Clinton and Schumer have become increasingly shrill in their attacks on Bush and, therefore, have brought the planned attacks on themselves.' | private feedback | (0) public comments A coupla new pics... Whaddya think? ONE and TWO | private feedback | (0) public comments Another Whirlwind Weekend... (I gotta come up with better titles for my weekend adventures...) Friday: Stayed at work until 7-ish. Watched Reba, which just keeps getting funnier and funnier. Went out to Common Ground to see some friends from out-of-town and try my luck at the pool table. (I didn't do so hot.) Saturday: Got up obscenely early (for a Saturday morning)... Went to Juna's for breakfast. Shopped with Lori all day. (Target may be the fiercest store ever... that's where I bought sheets, a blanket, a comforter, pillows and a bulk-sized box of pop-tarts for my mother's overnight visit this Tuesday. After mom's stay *I* will use the comforter for myself since until now I've been using an unzipped sleeping bag as a comforter... and the new comforter, sort of a light linen color, perfectly complements my Martha Stewart 'Coffee' colored bedroom.) Dar Dar met us to catch a matinee of Lord of The Rings (which I loved, Lori hated, and I think Dar Dar enjoyed as well.) The three of us went to Lost Dog for dinner (where I was under constant surveillance by some lesbian at a neighboring table. I swear she was undressing me with her eyes!). Then I met Rodney to go out and play pool again (I swear, that's the only reason I go out to CG...) Then we got breakfast at Mano's and I passed out the minute I got home. Sunday: Watched Fox News Sunday where Colin Powell was attempting to make his case for attacking Iraq. Watched Meet the Press because Madeline Albright was being interviewed. (She is amazingly intelligent and eloquent... And my cat loved her too! Chrissy didn't take her eyes off of her the entire time she was on screen... or maybe it was Ms. Albright's silver brooch?) Then off to Juna's for the Sunday New York Times... a little chatting online... Bowling (not a league week, just for fun)... and then to Sally's for some TV and dinner. (Rodney made a phenomenal spaghetti sauce... I wonder if they'll let me have the recipe?) I left cause I was exhausted... made a few phone calls and then hit the sack. And then it was Monday... | private feedback | (0) public comments Keelinn... The more time I spend with this little cutie patootie the more I adore her. She (with Lori in tow) came by the office on Friday afternoon... which was a fantastic distraction. And , when I finally had some work to deal with, we just planted her in front of an unused computer with Barbie.com on the screen and let her go wild. When she started singing along with the site's music, I couldn't resist going over and giving her a kiss on the head (which, of course, she pretends to hate). You know that clear slot in your wallet that's meant for your license... so you can just flip open your wallet and show it to whoever asks to see it? Well, that spot has been taken over by Keelinn's most recent school picture... and my ID is filed among my credit cards. I'd much rather see her pic than my terrible DMV photo... And its a sure-fire smile anytime I open my wallet for some money... | private feedback | (0) public comments Amazing, isn't it?  | private feedback | (0) public comments Friday, February 07, 2003 I'm mad jealous... ... that I can't go on a Hurry Date. Apparently, they're all the rage... and Gay.com is sponsoring some across the country. No less than two blogs I love (one, two) have featured Hurry Date events prominently in recent weeks. And, one of my favorite TV shows, Reba, even had Reba attending a Speed Date evening (same idea) where she met some super great guy before she stormed out. So, this sounds like one of those fads that I am going to miss out on 'cause I live in dinky Ithaca. (I could tell you exactly who would be there if we had one... the same people I see week-in and week-out. This place is too damned small.) And travelling for one just doesn't seem right... | private feedback | (0) public comments Thursday, February 06, 2003 Enneagram I finally got around to taking the 36-question quiz at the Enneagram Institute that Lori directed me to... and the results seems about right. ;-)  Take the free enneagram test yourself From their Web site: What is the Enneagram? The Enneagram is "a geometric figure that delineates the nine basic personality types of human nature and their complex interrelationships." The Enneagram is also a symbol that maps out the ways in which the nine types are related to each other. This is the aspect of the Enneagram most people are familiar with because it offers them a framework for understanding themselves and everyone they deal with. As a psychospiritual typology, the Enneagram helps people to recognize and understand an overall pattern in human behavior. External behaviors, underlying attitudes, one's characteristic sense of self, conscious and unconscious motivations, emotional reactions, defense mechanisms, object relations, what we pay attention to, our spiritual potentials--and much more—are all parts of a complex pattern that forms each personality type. Therapists, business counselors, human resource directors, and spiritual seekers from around the world are all finding the Enneagram to be immensely useful for self-understanding and personal growth. Always remember however, that the Enneagram does not put you in a box--it shows you the box you are in and the way out! | private feedback | (0) public comments The Gremlin Vs. The Values Angel Billed as a 'Life Changing Event,' the Ithaca Life Coaches Alliance hosted an information session last night at the public library. Why, you ask, did I go? My friend Dar Dar has been talking about becoming a Life Coach for some time. In turn, I make fun of it... and I thought that I had better get my facts straight. (See, I might make fun of you, but I'll do everything I can to become well-informed about the topic. And besides, I knew it was going to be a funny thing to post about the next day...) So, what the hell is a Life Coach, anyway? I'm glad you asked, because I was looking for an opportunity to cut and paste some more out of the email that publicized the event. Here's how the Ithaca Life Coach Alliance describes Life Coaching... 'Coaches work with individuals and organizations to help clarify priorities, set and achieve goals that go beyond perceived potential and break through the fears and obstacles that keep them stuck.' Sounds great and relatively harmless, right? Yes, fantastic. In fact, the philosophy of Life Coaching is something very similar to the basic premise of transformative mediation which I practice... every individual has the know-how and the ability to control their own destiny and answer those all-important questions that lead us to the next logical point in our lives where, hopefully we are a happier, more fulfilled person. BUT, as is often the case, we don't ask ourselves the questions and so we deprive ourselves of the answers. And that's where Life Coaches come in, they ask you the questions that you're not asking yourself, help you define the values you hold, and then support you in making decisions that reflect those values... not what you SHOULD be doing, but being true to yourself. (As you can see, there is a fine-line between therapy and being Coached... but the difference, they are quick to point out, is that Coaching comes from a point of focusing on your strengths as opposed to attempting to fix certain weaknesses.) So they're speaking my language... and I'm with them... right up until they bring out the hand puppet and stuffed animal. Yes, you read that right... puppet and stuffed animal. The puppet represented our Gremlin... that voice that tells you what you SHOULD do because its safe or because its what other people want you to do... and then the stuffed animal represented that little voice that encourages you to make more fulfilling decisions. They called this fluffy white teddy bear with wings and a gold wand the 'Values Angel.' (Please excuse the sounds of dry-heaving as you continue reading...) In fact their whole delivery was a little off kilter. It was just a little too... 'rehearsed informal' if you know what I mean. Conversations that were supposed to be sponteneous felt scripted. I felt like I was being talked to by a cross between a sunday school teacher and a motivational speaker (if there's a difference). To put it another way, It felt like one of those plays they make you go see in elementary school that is supposed to be educational, complete with some kind of underlying moral, and at the end you're like... 'Yeah, yeah I should brush my teeth'... but the whole thing just comes off as super cheesy. (And, I should know, I played Dr. Decay in our third grade class play... with black cape and all. Please hold your snide remarks for the comments link at the bottom...) So, I was dying to ask... just how many men these life coaches coached and how many male life coaches they knew of (my Web searches certainly haven't unearthed any... and looking around the room I was one of three men out of the crowd of approximately 40 middle-aged white women)... They didn't give me a direct answer about the proportion of life coaches that were men but they did say that their client base was anywhere from 50% to 75% men. I was floored! Do men really respond to the 'Values Angel!?' Or maybe they don't use the puppets in individual sessions. So... I guess overall I just felt like it was a little too self-help group for my taste... as though the word 'Anonymous' oughta be tacked on the end. I was going to make a mad dash for the door before they got to hold hands and sing Kumbaya... but luckily the library closed and they ended the information session before I had to... Or maybe I've found my niche... as the non-corny Life Coach. | private feedback | (0) public comments Its not just blacks anymore... In light of the Trent Lott drama, any Republican would be stupid to say anything about race that could even be mildly construed as inappropriate, right? Well, two North Carolina Republicans are out to prove that idea wrong. Rep. Howard Coble, who heads the Judiciary Subcommittee on Crime, Terrorism and Homeland Security, said on a radio call-in program Tuesday that he agreed with the internment of Japanese-Americans during World War II. Coble made his remark when a caller suggested Arabs in the United States should be confined. And fellow Republican Rep. Sue Myrick, in talking last week about domestic security threats, referred to Arab-Americans by saying, "Look at who runs all the convenience stores across the country." As if that has anything to do with domestic security at all. Labor union leader gets behind Kerry's run for president Momentum is growing for Kerry... he leads in the Iowa and the New Hampshire polls... and the AFL-CIO chief says Kerry is the Dems best bet against Bush. I think I see how this works now... Pass Dubbya's huge tax cut for wealthy individuals and then impose a bunch of new fees on businesses who are already strapped, to pay for it... That'll sure stimulate the economy and job growth. How far, exactly, IS Dubbya's head rammed up his a$$? | private feedback | (0) public comments Wednesday, February 05, 2003 Flat George  ... err, Flat Stanley. Apparently, this children's book about a boy who wakes up and finds himself flat, has found a fan in Karl Rove, Dubbya's advisor. The book is the newest big thing with kids, and classroom projects involve mailing paper dolls of Flat Stanley to celebrities who then have photos taken with him and mail it all back. Rove became so enthralled, in fact, that he arranged an entire day of photo ops for the cardboard cut-out doll at the White House and spent hours at home preparing a 13-page, 25-photo package, autographed by the President. [My personal favorite pics are the ones of Flat Stanley being chastised by Condi Rice.]
Now if Dubbya could only *read* Flat Stanley... | private feedback | (0) public comments Green Party Candidate for Prez in '04? While its not a foregone conclusion that the Greens WILL run a candidate for President in 2004 (remember all the shit they got for 'handing' the election to G.W. because they took a few votes in Florida? Misguided bitterness, since we all know who stole the election for Dubbya...) But back to my point... the possible nominees for a Green Party Presidential run are starting to roll in... with my comments in brackets, of course... .: Ralph Nader [Enough, already... I love the guy, but get someone less boring!] .: Populist author Jim Hightower .: Recently unseated Democratic Rep. Cynthia McKinney of Georgia [I don't know a thing about her, but she seems to have some momentum behind her within the Green party... sort of a 'Draft Cynthia' campaign.] .: Rev. Al Sharpton [The least desirable choice for the Dems, and now the Greens!] .: Harvard University professor Cornel West [Interesting, very interesting...] Other possible candidates include celebrities such as: .: Paul Newman .: Robert Redford .: Phil Donahue [If he could speak coherently...] .: Barbara Ehrenreich .: Molly Ivins .: Michael Moore [How great would that be!?] .: Howard Zinn .: Minneapolis City Council Member Natalie Johnson Lee ['Look, Ma! One day I'm city councilperson and the next, President!'] Stay tuned... | private feedback | (0) public comments Fulfilling a lifelong dream of mine...  Yup... that's me... and cutie patootie Keelinn baking cookies in an Easy Bake Oven last night. This was a much bigger deal for me than it was for her... she does it all the time. But I have lived 25 years without ever once having baked a miniature cookie or a miniature cake under nothing but a 100-watt light bulb. Ever since I was little, all I ever wanted was an Easy Bake Oven. (Instead, all I got was the Ewok Forest playset from the Star Wars movies that I STILL have no interest in seeing. But I digress...) Our adventure begins at Target... where we had to get kits to make our mini-sweets. The one I really wanted was the Rice Krispies treats... until I found out that no heat was required (what's the point of the light bulb?) and the 'Rice Krispies Treats Factory' was sold separately, of course. Whatever. So we moved on to the actual cookie, brownie and cake mixes. The cake mix comes with a marbelizing comb to make fancy chocolate and vanilla frosting designs... (is Martha Stewart now behind easy bake oven mixes?). And all I could think was, 'I have never marbelized an adult-sized cake, I sure as hell am not going to start with a cake the size of a quarter.' So we decided on the cookie/brownie mix and went in search of the perfect lightbulb... Which is not as easy as it sounds. A 'standard' lightbulb in this day and age of 'soft white' and 'longlife' bulbs is not the easiest thing to find. After a bit of confusion (instigated by a semi-helpful Target employee) about candelabra light bulbs vs. plain old light bulbs... we settled on a crystal clear, 100-watt bulb. And the ride home was angst-filled. What if we didn't have the right bulb? I was literally a half-hour away from realizing my lifelong dream and it could ride on whether or not we picked the right light bulb. The lightbulb was indeed the correct size... and assembly was a snap. Unscrew six little screws, insert light bulb, rescrew six little screws... The secret, I found out, was that the light bulb is housed in a metal reflecting box which insulates the lightbulb to hold the heat and reflects the heat of the bulb onto the cooking platform inside the plastic casing. Seeing the inner mechanics of the toy did sort of take the romance out of it, but I was determined not to let that bother me 'cause we were about to make chocolate chip cookies. Keelinn mixed the dough... ('only a teaspoon of water!?'), formed it into little balls, and put them on the baking sheet... Lori had said in the car on the way home that I 'qualify as adult supervision' (thanks, Lori) so *I*, as the adult, put the pans into the Easy Bake oven. (Little five-year-old hands should never go near a 100-watt lightbulb in a metal housing.) And 7-8 minutes later... as if by magic, I was removing little teeny-weeny cookies out of this hunk of plastic... AMAZING! And they even tasted good!! As I'm reading the instructions, I'm learning all kinds of new things. Did you know that you can make dipping cheese for nachos with an easy bake oven? Did you know you could make caramel corn? This may be the next small appliance I add to my semi-functional kitchen. We went on to make a whole little tray of sugar cookies and got so caught up in baking that we went past bedtime. (D'oh!) No playing with barbies, no Disney Princess game. They will have to wait till next time... | private feedback | (0) public comments Tuesday, February 04, 2003 Who says politics isn't fun!?  By now, I'm sure you've all heard the reports that Jerry Springer (Yes, THAT Jerry Springer) is thinking about running for Senate in Ohio.
While I can't stand his over-the-top television show... I think Jerry Springer could actually be a great candidate. He has political experience (a former councilman and mayor of Cincinnati), he's a Democrat, and he said two really amazing things (that I can remember off the top of my head) on CNN's Crossfire that you have to admire the guy for... 1. News should never be about entertainment and profit, leave that to people like him. 2. People like him don't need a tax cut, the whole idea that millionaires need more money is insanity. And, last but not least, he held his own against my crush, Tucker Carlson. Anyone who can do that is A-OK in my book. In fact, Jerry Springer's appearance on Crossfire changed my opinion of him much like my opinion of Marilyn Manson changed after seeing him in Michael Moore's Bowling for Columbine... ... 'Gee, this guy just might have something intelligent to say.' | private feedback | (0) public comments Lucky Ducky Part III: The latest Lucky Ducky cartoon is out... | private feedback | (0) public comments Big evening ahead of me... Tonight I get to spend some quality time with Keelinn. I have been informed that our agenda includes the following: .: Baking Rice Krispies treats in an Easy Bake Oven .: Playing Barbie .: Playing the Disney Princess Dress-up game (her birthday present from me) .: Reading not one, but two bedtime stories of her selection And, believe me, I am looking forward to it. ;-) Lori assures me that she'll be taking pictures so that I can post them online. *big cute grin* | private feedback | (0) public comments Monday, February 03, 2003  Charlie Lawrence
CBS's show Charlie Lawrence (a show I focus-grouped on my trip to Las Vegas) will finally see daylight when it airs in March as a mid-season replacement. The show stars Nathan Lane as an openly gay actor who gets elected to congress based on his name recognition. However, I'm very disappointed to find out that Regina King was bumped from the cast and replaced by Laurie Metcalf. Regina was one of the funniest parts of the pilot. | private feedback | (0) public comments Star Dates: Gary Coleman Last night, for the first time, I actually felt disgusted to be watching reality television, more specifically Gary Coleman's Star Date. Just a few of the highlights? The mother of the second date laughing hysterically when she saw who the celebrity date was going to be... Gary Coleman saying that a crush on a girl when he was 13 was the closest he'd ever gotten to being in a relationship... And the first date jumping out of the car at the end of the night and bolting to her house with a cursory 'Bye!' yelled over her shoulder as she unlocked her door, as if even a friendly good-bye hug would have killed her... shame on her. And I definitely could have lived without the final images behind the credits... of his first date treating him like a puppet. She was moving his arms and his mouth and making a voice for him. And you could tell he had just completely given up all resistance, even for the sake of his own self-respect. (It was obvious to me that he was not enjoying it.) And a few times, they cut to clips of Gary Coleman's Arnold from Diff'rent Strokes... crossing his arms and pouting his lips and saying how he was never going to get married and never find love... And back then it was just him being cute, you know, cause he was like... 8 or 9 or something. But who knew it was portentious of a life of loneliness. My heart went out to Gary Coleman. He was portrayed so poorly, as a guy with no personality and no prospects... Unlike other Star Dates, where I have at least a glimmer of hope that the second dates might work out... I had no expectations that either of these dates was going to go well and I actually thought, 'Gary Coleman may NEVER find love in his lifetime.' That thought makes me very sad. | private feedback | (0) public comments February is Black History Month Read about it. 'Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.' Booker T. Washington, Up From Slavery | private feedback | (0) public comments The Evolution A friend of mine, Zelda Lockhart, wrote a novella that is being published in serial form as part of USAToday.com's 'Open Books' series. The story is called 'The Evolution,' and a new chapter will come out every Thursday at the site. The story takes place in Ithaca... and is summarized as 'a story filled with scaly, claw-bearing humans, dreamlike travels and futuristic technology.' You can't beat that! Read the first (and subsequent) chapters here... | private feedback | (0) public comments |
Hey! I'm Shane... a proud gay progressive Democrat who has recently relocated to New York City from Ithaca, NY. As I am no longer in Ithaca, I haven't quite decided the fate of this blog. Drop me a line!
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