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Monday, March 31, 2003
Quote of the Day If it doesn't get done in the next two years, I intend to introduce and sign it as president of the United States. Joe Lieberman, U.S. Senator and Democratic presidential candidate, regarding a Senate bill that will extend benefits to partners of gay federal employees. Sen. John Kerry, another Democrat running for president, was a co-sponsor of the legislation. The bill faces long odds in the Republican-controlled Congress. | private feedback | (0) public comments Fun with Web cams... No, not THOSE kind of Web cams that you get spam mails about... take your minds out of the gutter. Cornell has a live video feed of central campus. So a few weeks ago, when I was visiting a client on campus, I called my co-worker while I was standing in view of the cam and said, 'Take a screenshot of me on the Cornell cam!' He obliged and added a little arrow since you would never know it was me from so far away... Look how tiny I am!  (This is what happens when we have a slow day at the office.) *grin* | private feedback | (0) public comments Friday, March 28, 2003 Happy Birthday, Reba!  Today is Reba McEntire's birthday... (For those of you that didn't know, she's my all-time favorite performer.) Also, congratulations to Reba, on the renewal of her WB sitcom for a third season. | private feedback | (0) public comments Quote of the Day Shane, is that the picture that came with your wallet? Someone standing next to me at the bar, seeing the picture of Keelinn in my wallet as I was paying for a drink at Common Ground. | private feedback | (0) public comments Thursday, March 27, 2003 Quote of the Day... O.K. First of all, let me correct something that's very minor at this point, but the allegation was made in petitioner's argument that people convicted of homosexual conduct are banned from jobs and housing and all that kind of thing. In Texas, homosexual conduct is a Class C misdemeanor. That is, it is the lowest misdemeanor or the lowest prohibition that Texas has. Charles A. Rosenthal Jr., Harris County District Attorney, arguing to the Supreme Court Justices yesterday that his state (TX) should be allowed to maintain a statute that prohibits "deviate sexual intercourse" between people of the same sex but does not apply to heterosexual activity. Well, gee... ONLY a 'Class C misdemeanor'!?!?! I guess we should be grateful. Read full articles about the Supreme Court case at: The Washington Post, and one with a more optimistic tone at The New York Times. Also, check out the New York Times' editorial about The Rights of Gay Americans. | private feedback | (0) public comments Wednesday, March 26, 2003 Quote of the Day 'The assistant principal called me out of seventh period, asked if my parents knew I was gay, and when I said no, she said I had till 3:40 to tell them or the school would.' Thomas, a 14-year old student at Jacksonville Junior High School in Arkansas. From a New York Times article. | private feedback | (0) public comments Be comfortable with uncertainty… Be comfortable with uncertainty… Be comfortable with uncertainty… I’ve been repeating this to myself almost as a mantra. Since becoming so enthralled by Pema’s book and being forced to focus my awareness internally, I’ve realized that I am a slave to resolution. I feel at my absolute weakest and most vulnerable when anything is left unresolved or the least bit undefined. This is a problem because, sometimes, I’ll push so hard for resolution and clarity, that I encourage or bring on the negative outcome… all because I’m more comfortable with dealing with a negative outcome than I am dealing with uncertainty. Think about it… dealing with negative outcomes to situations is easy. Someone you’re interested in doesn’t want to pursue a romantic relationship with you? There is literally only one thing to do, get over it and move on. Contrast this with the infinite number of possibilities that are available in the face of ambiguousness (possibilities you can’t even wrap your head around because there are so many), and you can begin to see why it might appear easier to push for resolution (even if it turns out to be a negative one) than force yourself to be comfortable with ‘not knowing.’ But what appears easier is not ALWAYS best. So in my ‘self-development,’ I have realized that my rush for clarity and certainty gets in the way of enjoying the more ambiguous daily experiences. I have more ‘work’ to do… | private feedback | (0) public comments Journey I can’t get ‘Don’t Stop Believin’’ by Journey out of my head this afternoon. I can trace this annoyance to one source… a mention of the song in a disparaging review of that Gwyneth-Paltrow-as-Stewardess movie whose name escapes me. And now every time this song pops into my head, I think of my first boyfriend (and ex), Mike. He is perhaps the biggest Journey fan to walk the earth. (He also insists that he sounds exactly like the lead singer. And to his defense, he didn’t sound dis-similar. *grin*) [Aside to Mike: I never told you this, but I think since almost five years has elapsed, we can laugh about it now, right…?] One night, when Mike was working late and I was at his house alone… I went into the basement and poked around. I found some non-labeled videotapes and thought I’d pop them in to see what was on them. They turned out to be home movies, mostly consisting of Mike standing in front of a white sheet hung in his basement singing along (loudly) to his Journey albums… He was both performer and camera operator, so I suppose he was just doing this for kicks… Bottom line? I have my ex… singing ‘Don’t Stop Believin’’ by Journey… in front of a white sheet in a dark basement… stuck in my head. | private feedback | (0) public comments Problems? I've gotten two emails now from folks who say that my Web site is not working properly... but I can't replicate the problems they're having. Everything loads fine for me. So if you're also having problems, I'm on the case... just not sure where to look. *grin* | private feedback | (0) public comments Monday, March 24, 2003 Now that I know... ...HE was at the Gay and Lesbian Business Expo in NYC that I almost went to, I'm having small, teeny, tiny regrets that I didn't go. [FYI No, I don't know this guy at all. I just enjoy his blog...] But then again, I had such a great weekend here in Ithaca. When I cancelled my trip to NYC, I realized how many potential plans I had turned down.... and when friends realized that my trip was off, my schedule was quickly filled in. I was constantly on the go, and was hanging out with some amazing people... [DISCLAIMER: LAME POST FOLLOWS… Only one exciting thing has happened in the last week and I can’t even post about that… sorry! So I’m reaching for stuff to write about…] Because I seem to be on this board game kick, I have to make a special mention of the round of 'Loaded Questions' played at Lori and Darlene's on Friday night... (Cheri brought it along.) One player asks a question… everyone else answers it… and then the first player has to guess whose response is whose. All of us that were playing didn’t really know each other THAT well, so it was hard sometimes to guess who said what… but there were still some REALLY funny answers to questions… and among a group of close friends with some wine, this game would be completely hilarious! Some of my favorite Questions/responses… What is your biggest regret? My answer… ‘Not buying Capri pants before I was too old to wear them.’ (In reference to Dar-Dar’s buying a pair of Capri pants the week before. In fact, a lot of my answers had to do with Capri pants. If I couldn’t think of an answer I would make something up involving Capri pants. When asked what historical figure I would most like to have a conversation with, I responded, ‘The man who invented Capri pants.’) What is likely to make you vomit? My answer… ‘VAGINAS’ (Yes, I wrote it in ALL CAPS. *grin*) All of the sudden my mind is drawing a blank… if anyone else who played with me remembers some funny ones… post them in my comments section, K? | private feedback | (0) public comments Friday, March 21, 2003 Tolerances and Energy Drains I was supposed to go to NYC this weekend. Months ago I tossed around the idea of going down for the weekend with a few friends... to check out the Gay and Lesbian Business Expo, and maybe take in a show. At one point there was the possibility of six of us going... and then the number got whittled down... some didn't have the financial resources to go or their 'boyfriends/fuck buddies' didn't want them to go... and so then it was two, 'R' and me. And then, last night... on the eve of the trip... during a conversation on a completely unrelated topic, 'R' tells me that he is, once again, going to disregard my feelings and opinions and ask some guy that he has the hots for if he wants to be on OUR bowling team for an upcoming tournament. And of course my response was, 'I'd appreciate being consulted before you have these conversations or make these offers, since it's OUR team.' And of course, 'R,' as usual, went on the defensive, insisting he wasn't doing anything wrong... Instead of just saying he was sorry, he tried to twist it around to make it sound like I was being unreasonable that he would pay me just this little bit of courtesy. But it wasn't just THIS situation... this is just the straw that broke the camel's back. He constantly does things like this. And even beyond that, he's always late, he's terribly unreliable, he's moody, he's selfish, he puts me down whenever he gets the chance... And then he NEVER admits that he does anything that might be inappropriate or apologizes for it, he just digs-in his heels which makes me even more frustrated... Last night, I actually raised my voice when I was talking to him... (Which if you know me, you know that I NEVER do this. In fact, the last time I did that was with 'R' as well, if I'm not mistaken.) So after realizing that I was a little harsh... I went back to him and said, 'I'm sorry I reacted that way. But its important to me that you know why I reacted this way, why this whole thing bothers me...' and proceeded to tell him how much it hurt my feelings that he didn't consult me on things like this and how this is part of a bigger trend, blah, blah. Of course he didn't budge an inch on his, 'You're just being unreasonable...' bullshit. So fine... I stewed a little... and then decided that I COULD NOT, WOULD NOT sit on a bus with him for five hours to NYC... and spend an entire weekend with him alone, in a hotel room. Not gonna happen. It was the final nail in the coffin of our weekend trip... Which got me thinking... At that recent Life Coach's Alliance meeting, one of the recommendations they made was to get rid of 'energy drains' in your life. The instructor said... 'energy drains are things in your life that you tolerate... like dirty dishes in the sink, random socks on the floor, that belt that you've never quite fixed, a button missing from your favorite shirt, stuff like that. Little things that taken one at a time may not seem significant, but taken together, they weigh us down in our everyday life. They make us feel heavy and burdened... She went on to ask us to identify an energy drain in our life and the first thing I could think of was my relationship with 'R'... I think to say that I 'tolerate' that friendship is pretty accurate. (A friend of mine and I even started joking around by calling him 'ED,' short for energy drain.) But wait, I'm going somewhere with this... I just gave a mountain bike away... mostly 'cause I never used it. But it was also a 'gift' from my father (who I don't speak to anymore) that started to become more of an emotional burden because everytime I looked at this bike all I would think of were the lies he told me... and that conversation I had with him when I finally confronted him on all the stories he fed me growing up (the conversation that he ended by hanging up the phone on me). And, of course, I was racked with guilt that I never use it and that I know people who would die to have this bike. I gave it away, to Dar-Dar, so that I didn't have to look at it anymore... And now its one less thing that makes me feel 'emotionally heavy' just by its mere presence. And I think I've identified the next energy drain I need to let go of... | private feedback | (0) public comments Tuesday, March 18, 2003 IMAGINiff Lori, Dar-Dar, Wendy and I had a 'sleepover' Saturday night out in Groton. There isn't much to do in Groton (as a suburb of Cortland) so Lori and I were instructed to pick up a board game. IMAGINiff seemed to fit the bill... It was international (created by a few folks in Australia), award-winning (won the 'game of the year' award there), and seemed to have the potential to be funny. (Who knew Aussies were so creative?!) It also has a simple premise... you answer a bunch of questions about the other players and yourself by filling in blanks... and you earn points and advance towards the finish by matching the most popular answer among the group... Its a really very interesting look into your friends' psyches. Some of the more interesting Questions and answers... IMAGINiff Shane were a piece of sporting equipment, what would he be? Popular answer: Mouthguard IMAGINiff Lori were a body of water, what would she be? Popular answer: A Puddle (Don't feel TOO bad for her, she could have been an ice cube.) IMAGINiff Dar-Dar were a circus performer, what would she be? Varying answers, from 'Lion Tamer' to 'Flame Eater.' IMAGINiff Lori were a song chorus, what would she be? Popular answer: 'I can't get no satisfaction.' IMAGINiff George W. Bush were a season, what would he be? Popular answer: Tie between 'Football Season' and 'Duck Season' A fun time was had by all... | private feedback | (0) public comments Monday, March 17, 2003 Just in case anyone thought I might feel differently... Yes, I AM ashamed that George W. Bush is our 'President'... and I am NOT going to apologize for it like the Dixie Chicks did...  A LETTER FROM MICHAEL MOORE TO GEORGE W. BUSH ON THE EVE OF WAR Monday, March 17th, 2003 George W. Bush 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington, DC Dear Governor Bush: So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I'm glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if I could take much more. So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you: 1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON'T FIND THEM! Why? 'Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how that works! 2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues are that affect our daily lives -- and none of them begin with I or end in Q. Here's what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs two dollars a gallon -- the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve. 3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them. 4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place. 5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let's see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What's that you say? You don't THINK so? Well, hey, guess what -- we don't think so either! 6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can be pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do -- tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can't get out of. Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I'm guessing there aren't a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein. After you "win" the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves a winner -- and who doesn't like to see a good ass-whoopin' every now and then (especially when it 's some third world ass!). And just like with Afghanistan, we'll forget about what happens to a country after we bomb it 'cause that is just too complex! So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year's election. Of course, that's still a long ways away, so we'll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further down the toilet! But, hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis -- they got our oil!! Yours, Michael Moore www.michaelmoore.com | private feedback | (0) public comments Friday, March 14, 2003  Thursday, March 13, 2003 When it rains, look for the rainbow... Yes, my last two attempts at dating (three if you count hitting on the straight guy a while back) went down in flames... But I don't feel THAT bad about it. Disappointed yes... but normally I would feel like I must have done something wrong or I pursued too hard or otherwise did something stupid that caused the final outcome to be negative. But I am pretty sure that these last two times I did everything as I should... Meaning that I can still look at my reflection in the mirror and be proud of myself. I have absolutely no regrets. I didn't lie... I didn't mislead anyone... I risked... I was true to my values... I put myself out there... I made friends with a greater amount of uncertainty... I reacted in more healthy ways to adversity... and I loosened the chains that bind me to my 'perceived reality' and my storyline. Failures are only 'failures' if you still have lingering regrets about how you ended up there. | private feedback | (0) public comments A light at the end of the tunnel... By a 48 -- 44 percent margin, American voters say they would vote for the as yet unnamed Democratic party candidate for President over Republican incumbent George W. Bush, according to a Quinnipiac University poll. | private feedback | (0) public comments Wednesday, March 12, 2003 I bet you didn't know... ... that when I was a Freshman at Cornell (before I ever thought about coming out) I rushed, pledged and subsequently de-pledged a frat (that shall remain nameless). It seems like it must have happened a million years ago. So... what made me think of it TODAY, you ask? I ran into the frat's pledgemaster on campus today when I was delivering stuff to clients. How did it happen? I came back to campus early after winter break Freshman year... and found a letter taped to my door letting me know that my college recommended me to this frat based on my grades, etc. I didn't give it too much thought, but a few brothers came knocking on my door sometime after and sort of talked me into attending some events. 'No obligation at all, just come to the rush events.' And of course I was like, 'What the fuck, how often do I get to go Go-Kart racing!?' And everyone involved with the frat seemed so nice... The events were fun... free dinners at the house, ice skating, go-karting, movie nights (we stayed up all night and watched all three Godfather movies once...). I kept thinking... 'Well, this is all fun and good, but they're never going to invite me to pledge.' I wasn't even nervous the night I knew they were going around to notify the people that got picked. They came by, though, and they told me they wanted me to pledge. Noone... in my entire life... Noone had ever WANTED me for anything. Not to mention a whole group of people wanting me for something. (Seriously... that's not meant to sound as sad and pathetic as I'm sure it DID, but I was always picked last for everything... I was sort of a social misfit still so I didn't really have too many good friends... and I was content in my role.) And in that second I felt part of something, someone actually wanted to INCLUDE me. So the less logical part of my brain took over (probably the same part that allowed myself to be convinced to join the Cornell College Republicans, also during Freshman year) and I pledged. Basically, it was downhill from there. They started demanding things... the few friends that I had were complaining that they never saw me anymore because I was basically required to eat a certain number of meals at the house during the week AND now I had to set the table and do dishes and clean-up with the other pledges... plus we had these required stupid pledge quizzes on topics ranging from frat history and our future brothers' stats. Another requirement was a weekly 'practical joke' on one of the brothers. The only one I remember (Gee, I wonder why) was chasing down this (completely hot) brother... stripping his clothes off while he's struggling against the 12 of us pledges... dumping a bunch of disgusting slop on him, and then carrying him into the bathroom and dumping him into a tub full of icewater... Hmmmmmm But not everything was that fun. *grin* I was still trying to balance life inside and outside of the frat (including my doubts), when they made us put on a 'play' for the house. Apparently, the adopted house movie was... Full Metal Jacket, which you may or may not know (or remember) contains this gem of dialogue... Drill Seargant: "Where you from, boy?" Recruit: "Texas, sir." Drill Seargant: "Texas? Only two things come from Texas, boy. You know what they are?" Recruit: "No, sir." Drill Seargant: "Steers and queers, boy, that's what. And I sure don't see no horns on you. So what's that make you?" And this was the scene my pledge-mates picked to act out for the benefit of the brothers. I got stuck being the 'Recruit' in the above dialogue (of course) opposite someone who really liked screaming those questions at me... just a little too much. At that point, I didn't know that in only six short months I would come out of the closet... but something felt mildly unsettling about this whole thing. But, I did go through with it... and now, looking back, I can't believe that I did. It feels like another life, I'm very detached from these memories. But the final straw came with a much more seemingly stupid occurance... One night after I had cleared the table for all the brothers... and started the dishes... the pledgemaster came to me and said, 'Hey, Shane. Fill up that bucket with water and wipe down the walls.' I said, 'In the kitchen? The dining room?' He said, 'The whole house.' I remember laughing out loud, throwing the sponge in the bucket, and saying 'I don't think so, dude' over my shoulder on my way out... And I never went back. I guess I shouldn't wonder why the pledemaster didn't say 'Hi' to me when he saw me today. *grin* | private feedback | (0) public comments Tuesday, March 11, 2003 This, I love... FreeRepublic.com calls Ithaca the 'City of Evil'... and one of three of the 'Axis of Evil' (Oh my, how clever.) when you throw in Berkeley, CA and Boulder, CO. Their (flawed) reasoning follows... Originally called "Sodom" in frontier days, and home to Lucifer Falls, Ithaca is host to two colleges, Cornell U (aptly nick-named "the Big Red") and Ithaca College (which flies the gay flag over its campus), the two major employers in the area. They insure that a disproportionate amount of "ivory tower liberals" dominate the city. Locating copies of National Review or the American Spectator requires a trip out of the City, while Ithaca magazine racks remain well-stocked with copies of The Progressive, and The Nation. Readers interested in exposing themselves to a full range of national opinion are simply out of luck. As a result of this dominiance, politics in Ithaca runs the gamet from "liberal" to "communist." For years, the town had an openly socialist mayor. They later elected him to the school board. Even today, the City and County governments are dominated by democrats and Green party members. Ithaca is so "Green" that Ralph Nader got more votes in Ithaca than George W. Bush, and the NYS Green Party held its 2002 nominating convention there. The current Chair of the County Legislature is a radical former anti-war protester, self-described hippie, who says "My values haven't changed, just my tactics." As a result, we get lunacy like spending $500,000 to install solar panels on the new library (in cold, dark, upstate NY). Even law enforcement is subject to political correctness. The outgoing police chief's major concern was "pushing for departmental diversity." The acting chief was chosen simply because they wanted a woman, and now spends her time attending topless protests . To make matters worse, the liberals who dominate Ithaca work overtime to impose their ultra liberal agenda on the area children. As the local newspaper recently put it, “In most places, youngsters spend their summers camping, or at the mountains or the beach. In Ithaca, they learn how to become social activists.” The School District has mandated that elementary school students in the first and second grades be graded on how well they "respect others of varying cultures, genders, experiences, and abilities." It's even listed on the schools' report card. Despite this alleged tolerance, a student who was found reading the bible on her lunch hour was chatised for doing so. Another was directed not to bring a book about Christmas to school. There's even a taxpayer funded "alternative" (ie, hippie) school that let's students graduate in majors like basket weaving and political activism, and invited convicted cop killer Mumia Abu-Jamal to be its graduation speaker . These schools churn out "educated idiots," who are so liberal, they write editorials that argue "Bin Laden is Human too." Need more proof? Do a search for "Ithaca" here at FR. You'll see a near daily dose of institutionalized, unfettered, liberal idiocy. As a result of its unfettered liberalism, Ithaca was voted most enlightened (ie, liberal) city in America by the ultra left Utne Reader. As a good, conservative Freeper, I'm sure you'll agree that, contrary to what Utne says, "liberal" is not "enlightened." Unfettered liberalism is, well, evil. As the most liberal city in America,"Ithaca is the City of Evil." | private feedback | (0) public comments Petty and just plain lame The U.S. House of Reps Cafeteria changed the 'French' in Fries and Toast to 'Freedom?' Seriously? Freedom Fries? Freedom Toast? Give me a break, people. And, do the Republicans have anything better to do than to make signs touting the change. This action today is a small but symbolic effort to show the strong displeasure of many on Capitol Hill with the actions of our so-called ally, France. Bob Ney, chairman of the House Administration Committee. I mean, is that really appropriate statesmanship... to call a country a 'so-called ally' when they just simply disagree with us? As if they're only an ally when they unconditionally agree with us. Well, surely... acting like children will make this right, and bring them back into line... | private feedback | (0) public comments A lesson in grasping... 'Shane, you're grasping!' Darlene's voice came rumbling through my head at the precise moment I was thinking, 'Gee, Shane, here we are... the victim of unfortunate circumstances yet again. You poor unfortunate soul.' But the voice was right... I was witnessing an event that could potentially pull the proverbial rug out from under me... and I was interpreting it in a way that was consistent with my past reactions to similar situations. And, as in the past, I was interpreting it in the worst possible light. Sort of a doomsday response. When I have something happen whose meaning is uncomprehensible to me in the immediate-term and puts me on shaky ground, I grasp for a place I feel comfortable, a place where I feel more 'stable'... if only for a few fleeting minutes. In this place I grasp for, I'm a victim and nothing is my fault. This is a place where I dream up stories, responses, whole conversations, and repercussions that are all very dramatic and not very much like the actual outcomes at all. But because I can see a resolution in this place, the place that only exists in my head, I get a false sense of comfort. All I'm really grasping for is resolution. I need to be comfortable with myself in a place without immediate resolution. I found a Web site that talks a bit about grasping and I liked the way they described it... 'The source of all delusions is a distorted awareness called `self-grasping ignorance', which grasps phenomena as inherently, or independently, existent. In reality all phenomena are dependent arisings, which means that their existence is utterly dependent upon other phenomena, such as their causes, their parts, and the minds that apprehend them. [W]hat they are depends upon how they are viewed. Our failure to realize this is the source of all our problems. The type of self-grasping that harms us most is grasping our own self, or I, as inherently or independently existent. We instinctively feel that we possess a completely real and objective self or I that exists independently of all other phenomena, even our body and mind. One consequence of grasping at our self as an independent entity separate from the world and other people is that we develop self-cherishing, a mind that regards ourself as supremely important. Because we cherish ourself so strongly, we are drawn to the people and things we find attractive, we want to separate ourself from the people and things we find unattractive, and we are uninterested in the people and things we find neither attractive nor unattractive. In this way attachment, anger, and indifference are born. Because we have an exaggerated sense of our own importance we feel that others' interests are in conflict with our own, and this in turn gives rise to competitiveness, jealousy, arrogance, and lack of consideration for others. By acting under the influence of these and other delusions we engage in destructive behaviour, such as killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying, and hurtful speech. The result of these negative actions is suffering for both ourself and others.' So now I can add 'not grasping' to my list of lessons... right after 'risk-taking.' | private feedback | (0) public comments More B.S. From Governor Pataki... Governor announces trust which will fund the dissemination of his 'message' without 'elite liberal media bias.' See how many times Pataki uses the word 'liberal' in a disparaging way... | private feedback | (0) public comments  Nadine Strossen Vs. Pat Buchanan
Last night, on the stage of Bailey Hall at CU... Nadine Strossen, president of the ACLU and Pat Buchanan, commentator and former presidential candidate, debated the state of civil liberties post-9/11. There was some really great debate... and it was mostly civil. Buchanan insisted on constantly giving examples of previous 'liberal hero' presidents who had eroded civil liberties during their administrations, which left me wondering if that was more an attempt to give credibility to Bush for doing the same thing or just to point out that it 'could be worse.' (Neither argument really made an impact on me.) Even when Buchanan discussed the current state of affairs, the best he could say was that it was inappropriate to compare our government to the Gestapo, Nazi, and Taliban regimes and that racial profiling when used with 'common sense' is A-OK. (During the Q&A, when one gentleman stood up at the end and said that he was someone who would be pulled aside at an airport because he was middle-eastern looking, Buchanan accused him of 'claiming victim status' and dismissed him by basically saying, 'I'd suck it up if I were you.' Yikes.) Of course, I found myself squarely on Strossen's side... that racial profiling, any infringement of free speech and the right to assemble, and torture techniques for detainess is absolutely NOT OK. She was constantly quoting individuals from across the political spectrum in their resistance to some of the current administration's policies such as Total Information Awareness and the Patriot Act. She claimed, rightly so, that it's not that we need to erode civil liberties to glean MORE information from an unsuspecting public, but we need to dedicate the appropriate amount of time to decipher and interpret the torrent of intelligence we already have. Both Strossen and Buchanan agreed, however, that individuals need to be vigilant in scrutinizing the government... And also that in times of real or perceived national security crises, civil liberties tend to fall by the wayside for the 'greater good' of the nation. The danger now, though, is that there is no definable end-point in the perpetual 'War on Terror' when the infringements on our civil liberties will be rolled back as they were following previous wars. And... in the most entertaining moment of the debate... during closing statements, Nadine Strossen had a gift for Pat Buchanan. A thong with the 'Total Information Awareness' logo on it. *big grin* | private feedback | (0) public comments Monday, March 10, 2003 Bowling For Columbine gets some respect... ...wins a screenplay award in competition with the likes of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Antwone Fisher, Far From Heaven, and Gangs of New York. P.S. If you haven't seen this documentary yet, I HIGHLY recommend it. Its playing at Cornell Cinema this Wednesday (3/12) at 9:15, in the Willard Straight Hall theater. | private feedback | (0) public comments Do my eyes deceive me? I've been frequently checking my bank account online awaiting the deposit of my IRS tax refund... and finally, today, it was there... but an amount that is almost TWICE as big as what I expected... I'll wait until I get my adjustment statement in the mail before I spend any of it. ;-) | private feedback | (0) public comments The world of a child... I say this all the time... but I find one of the best ways to invigorate myself is to spend time with a kid. Kids remind me that joys can be found in all of the littlest, simplest things... And Keelinn, my little cutie patootie, is my biggest 'little' ball of sunshine. Here's an email that Lori sent me the other day... 'After we got home, K and I crawled into bed. I asked her to tell me everything she knew about dinosaurs. Here's the response I got: "They went extinct, which means they died way way way back in 1976, which was a long long time ago. They ate plants and people and the people they ate were the work men who were there building houses for the other people. They ate 60 of them. They lived on all the continents which spread out through the oceans. They started in Europe and moved across all the continents. There were some trex one's, they mostly ate the work men. We didn't have lights until way back in 1969, but we had microwaves and stoves for cooking, but we didn't even have lights people used candles and we didn't have refrigerators or even Home depots back in 1969. It was before Home depot and lights. I'm not really sure where babies come from, it's very very complicated but I think God just creates them. Then the spirit that comes from the earth makes the wind blow and the wind blows into air and the air goes into peoples body's and that's how they are created. I think that's how it happens, but i'm not sure. When we die we go to heaven which is way way up in the sky. It's all golden, even the bridges are made of gold. There aren't any houses, people just sleep wherever they can find to sleep every night. It doesn't rain because it's above the rain clouds. The angels live there too." Lori insert - "So when Shane and I flew on an airplane to Florida, did we go through heaven to get there?" "No, it would be way above where the plane went. You flew in an airplane to Florida and YOU DIDN"T TAKE ME??? I want to go on an airplane! You and Shane can't go on any more airplanes without me!" It was so freaking funny I was dying. She had an answer to everything and a dinosaur talk turned into knowledge of everything she could think of. This is just a piece of it, it went on for about half an hour.' Isn't that just the cutest thing ever!? (Who knew that if I was born just a few years earlier I would have been able to see real dinosaurs. *wink*) I get to spend tomorrow night with Keelinn... We may spend another night with the Easy Bake Oven (apparently, she hasn't touched it since I was last there)... or doing Shrinky Dinks, which would be fierce (do you remember those!?!)... or playing the Disney Princess Dress-up game (I was Jasmine last time 'cause Keelinn thinks that out of all the princesses, Jasmine is the one I most resemble. 'You kinda look like her' she said.) As a sign that I may be spending TOO much time with her... last night when grocery shopping, I traversed three aisles at light speed when I realized I missed the Nestle Quik Strawberry Milk mix. You may judge... but damn that stuff is good. | private feedback | (0) public comments Wednesday, March 05, 2003 So let me get this straight... The Bush Administration accuses Iraq of playing games... and I quote Colin Powell (who I'm quickly losing respect for) here... 'Once again, [Saddam] started to play the game that he has been playing for the last 11 or so years to divert our attention, to throw chafe up to confuse, to cause us to lose our way in applying our will.' He of course is referring to the destruction of the missiles over the last few days. So what do you call this constant leaking information little by little that we have which alleges the location of Iraq's weapons...? Not a game? For example, Today Powell says that U.S. intelligence indicates Iraq is hiding chemical and biological weapons in poor neighborhoods and that Iraq has hidden equipment to produce Al Samoud 2 missiles even as it destroys existing ones under United Nations supervision. Powell continued to say that while all these inspections have been happening, Iraq moved chemical and biological weapons to areas near the Turkish and Syrian borders and parked old trucks loaded with banned weapons in poorer working class neighborhoods around Baghdad to avoid detection. So if we know this, if we have in fact spotted trucks being moved that contain biological and chemical weapons (I'm giving the Bush Administration the benefit of the doubt here and stopping short of calling them liars)... then why the fuck don't we just tell the U.N. inspectors where these trucks are and have the U.N. Inspectors go check it out!?!? Isn't that simple enough? Why is it that shortly after every time Bush runs up against a wall with the international community he just keeps leaking some more intelligence that he, oops, 'forgot to tell us about' the last time he attempted to make his utterly unconvincing case. I can just see Bush in the oval office... 'Well, gee. Maybe *THIS* will convince 'em!' Or could it be that George Bush has a huge hard-on at the thought of lobbing missiles into Baghdad and nothing is going to stop this man from declaring war? | private feedback | (0) public comments Tuesday, March 04, 2003 Shameful | private feedback | (0) public comments Relationships as a 'Craps shoot' Last night, in my self-imposed exile and sunburn recovery, I watched Married By America on Fox. Five single people submit their fate to America, who will pick their brides- or grooms-to-be. (A small group of friends and family first whittles the field down from five to two... and then whoever calls in gets to decide which of the two finalists marries the bachelor or bachelorette, signt unseen.) A few thoughts: 1. This show is completely boring and lame, 2. The announcer constantly says what a 'controversial' show it is... which makes it even more lame, 3. Interestingly enough, this show is the first that rewards the participants to STAY married... (a brand new home if they maintain their nuptials for a certain length of time), and 4. This certainly can't be what congress was trying to 'protect' with the 'Defense of Marriage Act' can it? | private feedback | (0) public comments Monday, March 03, 2003 Day 1: The hotel and Fort Lauderdale Beach We drove up A1A along the coast and past ‘hotel row.’ We had back-up reservations at the Holiday Inn (meaning we didn't really want to stay there but if we couldn't find anything on the fly then we would). Meanwhile, we had found a Web site for the Beach Plaza which looked OK... so we were looking specifically for that. Lori had called a few times and was told no reservations were necessary. We found the Beach Plaza without too much trouble. It was $30/night cheaper than the Holiday Inn so we decided to cancel the back-up reservations. The Beach Plaza certainly had charm that the Holiday Inn couldn’t compete with… the woman at the front desk could hardly speak English (we witnessed her answering the phone, saying something unintelligible into it, and then holding the receiver at arms length staring at it like a foreign object... finally hanging up on the unfortunate individual who was trying to communicate with her) and she couldn't read a calendar... but we managed to get a parking permit and a room key... #108, poolside. The door was unlocked when we got to our room... (actually just not closed, we found you had to give it a good shove to get it to close AND lock) and upon closer inspection, the deadbolt looked like it had been pried open multiple times with a crowbar (the wood was splintered all around the lock). The room itself was very sparse, it had hardly any furniture... there wasn't even a phone. (Lori told us later that it would cost $20 just to have a phone in the room). But what we did have was some great graffiti carved into the nightstand including a large penis (complete with hairy testicles). (We decided, democratically, that the side of the bed next to the penis was MY side of the bed.) After we had a good laugh at our quirky hotel room, we dropped off our stuff, changed into sandals, and took a walk along very beautiful Fort Lauderdale Beach. We ate dinner at a Raw Bar complete with a live singer (Fleetwood Mac and Bonnie Rait standards, yippee) and cruised around Fort Lauderdale at night in our convertible with the top down. It was heaven... Day 2: More of the Beach and Downtown Fort Lauderdale Our first full day in Fort Lauderdale, as I mentioned, was almost exclusively spent on the beach. We swam a little and took a break to eat... but mostly I was working on my burn. Once the sun retreated behind the clouds we ventured into the Los Olas downtown district of Fort Lauderdale where all the trendy shops, galleries, and restaurants are. What a beautiful downtown! Everything Ithaca should strive to be... My favorite store was Seldom Seen Gallery (which reminds me of an upscale Spirit and Kitsch). Quote of the Day: Lori, upon returning from her search to find a grocery store and happening upon a retirement community instead... 'There were droves of old people walking towards the beach with canes and walkers. It was like a scene out of Cocoon.' Day 3: Miami and South Beach Penny and I wanted to see the Art Deco District of South Beach... (imagine where The Birdcage took place). So we took the short drive south along the coast to South Beach to walk around, shop, and sunbathe/burn some more. The sand on the beaches there are so much more white than in Fort Lauderdale and a little bit busier. But the population is more diverse and definitely ‘prettier.’ I was so burned by mid-afternoon that I had to wear a shirt while sitting on the beach… and my sandals HURT to walk in. We found this great little cafe before walking around to all the stores. Lori was excited about the Nike Store and I was super excited to see a Club Monaco and an Urban Outfitters. I so wanted to buy almost everything inside Club Monaco (if we had one in the Ithaca area, I wouldn't be a Gap loyalist any longer)… but I couldn't bring myself to try anything on, with being in sunburned pain and all. :-) Quote of the Day: Me, during the drive from Fort Lauderdale to Miami, responding to Penny who calls a particular part of the neighborhood ‘ugly.’ 'Pema says as we accept beauty we must also accept ugliness. But who knew ugliness was only five miles down the road from Fort Lauderdale.' Day 4: Low-Key Shopping and Saying Good Bye to the Ocean On our last full day in Florida, Penny, our sunbathing goddess, wanted MORE sun. Lori and I were fried, so we stayed in the room and napped, watched CNN, and eventually went shopping at the super-sized Barnes & Noble while Penny hung out on the beach at our hotel. For dinner, we headed back into the Downtown district of Fort Lauderdale, just narrowly missing what appeared to be a fantastic arts festival that closed down blocks of Los Olas. After dinner, we bought pints of ice cream and sat on the sun deck at the hotel swapping stories, and saying our goodbyes to the weather, the beach and the ocean. We would have to be up and out of the hotel room by 3:00 AM. Since we didn't have an alarm clock (or a phone for a wake-up call), we had to settle for a wake-up knock from the front desk clerk. He came a half-hour early but was super nice. He even offered to bring us coffee. We turned our car into Thrifty... it was shortly after 3 AM. As we’re standing there waiting for the airport shuttle, all these guys were walking by shirtless... and some were very effeminate. I looked up in the direction that they were coming from and there was a huge gay bar right next to the Thrifty rental place! What a slap in the face at the end of the trip. I had reconciled myself with the loss of the beautiful beach, the ocean, the palm trees, the sun... but now I was reminded that I was also leaving behind a sizable young gay community. And that’s that… I’ve only been back a little over 24 hours and my trip to Fort Lauderdale already seems like a distant memory… I returned to Ithaca to find snow and freezing cold wind… among other disappointments. *Sigh* | private feedback | (0) public comments Airplanes... Both flights... to and from Fort Lauderdale... were basically uneventful. No threatened killings or stranglings by my travel companions, and no stopping me at the security check and making me take off my shoes and unbuckling my belt and pants while some old woman prodded me with her bony fingers. And the flights were easy with almost exactly the perfect amount of time for the connections. (The first was through Cincinnati and the second through Atlanta.) In fact, there's almost nothing to say about the flights except that I sat next to a woman on the flight from Cincinnati to Fort Lauderdale who smelled like she shit herself. (Or would that be shat herself? Is there a past tense to the word shit? Certainly NOT shitted. Anyway...I digress.) So this woman had the aisle and I had the window... She was already seated when I boarded the plane and as I stood there waiting for her to get up she quietly said, 'I think it's going to be easier for you to climb over me than for me to get up and have to re-buckle myself in.' It was, but barely... she was quite an oversized woman... And then before we even taxied out to the runway... she had apparently made another decision... It would be easier for her to soil herself than to try to get up and have to re-buckle herself back in her seat afterwards. I would have looked for another seat if the flight wasn't so crowded and it wasn't tantamount to an acrobatic stunt to climb over her a second time. But all unpleasantness was forgotten upon landing in Fort Lauderdale. I was sooo excited to see sun... feel the warm breeze on my skin... and to see PALM TREES lining the roads. (How cool is that!?) We rented a convertible at the Thrifty counter and were on our way to find a hotel... | private feedback | (0) public comments A lotion with SPF 4 is NOT enough when you've spent the entire winter in Ithaca On Wednesday, our first full day in Fort Lauderdale, we spent approximately 7 full hours laying out in the sun. On Thursday, we drove to South Beach in Miami where we spent another 4 or 5. By the end of that sunbathing, I was sooooo burned I couldn't walk. (The tops of my feet got it the worst.) Unfortunately, I spent the last full day in Florida applying (slathering myself with) aloe and avoiding the sun at any cost. (I would have bathed in aloe if I could.) Things have pretty much subsided now, meaning the pain, but I still have a red edge to my face, neck, back... awww, who am I kidding... my entire body. *smile* This was just a post to say... 'I'm back in not-so-warm, snowy Ithaca... safe and sound.' If I find time today while I'm catching up at work I'll post some more... | private feedback | (0) public comments |
Hey! I'm Shane... a proud gay progressive Democrat who has recently relocated to New York City from Ithaca, NY. As I am no longer in Ithaca, I haven't quite decided the fate of this blog. Drop me a line!
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