|
Friday, April 25, 2003
Balance in the universe... Recently, I've been thinking a lot about this quote from one of my favorite books... Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin. You can have a hot lover, a hot job and a hot apartment, but you can't have all three at the same time. If you know me, you know the significance of that quote right now... | private feedback | (0) public comments Wednesday, April 23, 2003 Reflecting Emotions Some of you might find this completely boring... but I am fascinated by communication and interaction between individuals... which is probably why I love my volunteer work as a mediator at the local dispute resolution center. As a mediator, I’m required to participate in a certain number of continuing education trainings throughout the year to maintain my active certification. Last night was one of these 2-hour trainings on the topic of reflecting emotions, and probably one of the more interesting ones in recent memory. This training was of huge interest to me for multiple reasons. One, as a mediator (and personally) I am well aware of my low tolerance and comfort level when it comes to emotionally-charged situations. I am often hesitant to reflect individuals’ emotions for fear of the response I’ll get. Two, this training was affirmation (and a reminder) that communication happens on multiple levels (sort of the, ‘its not just WHAT you say but HOW you say it’ mentality) which has been largely ignored by previous mediation theories. And three, I didn’t really know what an appropriate reflection of emotion looked like in practice. Just briefly, reflection in mediated conflicts is a HUGE and crucial component because it allows parties to hear what they’re saying but removed from themselves and their lips. And when they hear their own words reflected back to them it allows them to mold it, massage it, clarify it or even confirm it strongly. A common response to someone being reflected might be, ‘Well, I didn’t mean exactly THAT, I’m just very frustrated with this situation because of X.’ And that’s a very strong point to move from, especially when before there might be only name-calling or bickering in the room. Emotional reflecting becomes just as crucial as reflecting actual words because when you give voice and recognition to someone’s emotions, it often makes them feel as though they’re being heard. (The old analogy is the person that gets louder and louder and keeps saying the same thing over and over again because they feel like the other person just isn’t getting it. So simply saying, “Gee, you’re really frustrated because you feel like you’re not being heard, aren’t you?” is an amazingly powerful statement because that person can just let out a deep breath and say, “Yes!”) And often then the parties will let go of some of that elevated emotion which allows them some mental breathing room and an opportunity to actually look at the conflict at hand. Our role as mediator is nothing more than doing the reflections and asking the questions that will diminish that feeling of ‘being stuck’ that oftentimes develops between parties in conflict. I strongly encourage anyone who gets the opportunity to learn about the Transformative Theory of mediation to do so (Read The Promise of Mediation by Baruch Bush and Joe Folger). The theory is completely based on fostering empowerment and recognition between people in conflict and it will completely make you rethink the way you interact with people. I guess that was all to say that we all have our little hang-ups, varying comfort levels, and places that we get ‘stuck’ in conflict… but by learning about conflict and its components (both verbal and non-verbal), we are increase our ability to make connections with other individuals. | private feedback | (0) public comments Ithaca Politics A fourth candidate for this fall's Mayoral race has declared their candidacy. (Actually, two have formally declared and two are planning to declare sometime in May). So far, all are Democrats... Ithaca Police Lt. John Beau Saul, Former Tompkins County Rep. Eric Lerner, Alderwoman Paulette Manos, and Alderwoman Carolyn Peterson Some of the things to watch for... [Is it scary that I find this stuff so interesting? *grin*] The potential for one of the Democrats to run as an Independent (All four of them can't be on the Democratic ballot line)... Whether the Green Party endorses a Democrat/Independent or runs their own candidate (They got a pretty high percentage of votes within the city limits last fall with Pete Meyers running for County Sheriff as a Green, something like 35 or 40%. If the Greens want to seize that momentum, this is prime party-building time)... and Whether the city republicans (all five of them) get the balls to run a candidate of their own like they've been threatening to do for some time. Stay tuned... | private feedback | (0) public comments Tuesday, April 22, 2003 Uncle Shane... The Sequel!? Mom called last night and all she said was, 'I think I might come see you this week. I'll let you know in a few days if I can get away. Oh, and call your brother. He has something to tell you.' My response? 'Mmmm K.' So I called Andy and said, 'Uhm, you have something you want to tell me?' He says, 'Yeah. I got that new computer I was telling you about.' I was like, 'OK. Uhm, Mom made it sound like it was a bigger deal than that.' So Andy says, 'Well, Michelle's pregnant.' He wasn't goin' for humor, that's just the way he is. I can't honestly say this is a big surprise. Lori and I recently prodded them on their future baby plans (we were concerned, after all, because Andy is 23 and Michelle is 20 or 21) and Michelle seemed adamant that she wanted another baby right away. Well, Jason Bradley will turn 3 this October, and Baby #2 will be due shortly before that, in September. Andy assures me this was a compromise 'more to HIS liking' because he wanted at least five years between the two kids and Michelle wanted to have one the minute Jason Bradley was born. Andy would prefer a boy because he fears going bankrupt if they have a girl... saying 'I know how much shit Michelle buys Jason, and I know there's four times as much shit to buy for girls. She can't help herself.' I have a bunch more to say, but I'm laughing too hard to keep typing... | private feedback | (0) public comments 'Sir, is your son gay?' Yesterday, I was telling the story of my brother going AWOL from the Army reserves. And It struck me just how funny a story it is. For those of you that have heard it before, pardon me while I indulge myself in sharing it again. When my brother was in high school he wanted nothing more than to become a chef. He participated in the BOCES Culinary Arts Program and pursued getting into the Culinary Institute of America with a passion unlike I had ever seen in him before. So I was understandably perplexed when he said he had gotten into the Culinary Institute but he wasn't going because he didn't want to have to figure out his financial aid stuff. I even offered to help him do the research, file the paperwork, and make contact with the school... after all, I had wrestled with financial aid myself and knew how daunting a task it was. But, in the end he refused all help. Instead, he went into the Army reserves. He had a friend in the reserves and they led him to believe it was an 'easy paycheck.' And although I knew that Andy had NO discipline, I was at least happy he'd made up his mind and was going to do SOMETHING post-high school. He was sent to Fort Benning, Georgia. And I only heard from him once during his entire time at basic training. It was to complain about how unhappy he was and to tell me all the things he had tried to get out of it. [Aside to My brother: Andy, I'm sorry that I'm going to share all this, but I'm fairly confident you'll never know that I posted this anyway...] What exactly did he try? He tried pretending to have a mental disorder. He tried wetting the bed. He tried causing all kinds of disruptions. Anything that he saw another private do to get discharged from the Army, he'd try. He finally called me looking for advice and I jokingly said, 'Pretend you're gay!' I remember he said, 'Will that work!?' And I said, 'Well it would if it were true.' About a week later, our father told me that he had been contacted by Andy's commanding officer... Apparently, Andy had walked into his office with his best poker face and said, 'I'm gay. I thought I could control myself, but being around all these men all the time, I just don't know how I'm going to make it through training without acting on my impulses.' (If it wasn't these exact words, it was something equally cheesy and pathetic.) So the commanding officer called to ask 'Sir, is your son gay?' My father responded, 'Which one?' trying to pass off the question as a joke. The officer responded, 'Andy' To which our father replied, 'No, not that one.' [Thanks for outing me to the US Army, Dad. I owe you one.] So, since his plan of pretending to be gay was foiled, the only thing left to do was to go AWOL. On a weekend leave, he got a bus ticket home and never went back... that is, until he was pulled over for speeding and it showed up in the computer that he was AWOL. He got dragged back to the station and eventually ended up with some kind of dishonorable discharge. It was all the family could talk about for months... and I still tell the story to new acquaintances whenever my brother comes up... or whenever I need something to post to my blog. *big cute grin* | private feedback | (0) public comments Quote of the Day If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual (gay) sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Senator Rick Santorum, a republican from Pennsylvania, in an interview published yesterday. Gay-rights groups urged republican leaders to consider removing the Pennsylvania lawmaker from the GOP Senate leadership. As chairman of the GOP conference in the Senate, Santorum is third in his party's leadership, behind Majority Leader and Assistant Majority Leader. But that quote, in my opinion, wasn't the scariest thing he said in that interview. He continued... All of those things are antithetical to a healthy, stable, traditional family. And that's sort of where we are in today's world, unfortunately. It all comes from, I would argue, this right to privacy that doesn't exist, in my opinion, in the United States Constitution. That's right folks. Your right to pursue your happiness in whatever private way you choose which does not harm anyone is NOT protected by the United States Constitution... at least in Mr. Santorum's opinion. Perhaps Mr. Santorum is attempting to position himself on Dubbya's short list of potential Supreme Court Justice candidates should an opening become available. Sure sounds like it. Today, Howard Dean, Democratic Presidential candidate had this to say in response: That a leader of the Republican Party would make such insensitive and divisive comments--comments that are derogatory and meant to harm an entire group of Americans, their friends, and their families--is not only outrageous but deeply offensive. The silence with which President Bush and the Republican Party leadership have greeted Senator Santorum's remarks is deafening. It is the same silence that greeted Senator Lott's offensive remarks in December. It is a silence that implicitly condones a policy of domestic divisiveness, a policy that seeks to divide Americans again and again on the basis of race, gender, class, and sexual orientation. Amen. [I hate to constantly slam idiotic republicans (yeah right)... But, damn, they make it so easy!] | private feedback | (0) public comments Monday, April 21, 2003 Easter Sunday My friend Wendy was hospitalized late last week for complications with her liver. At first, the doctors hoped it was nothing more than an infection that could be fought off with some antibiotics and that all would be fine. But when the tests came back that there was no infection, the doctor proclaimed her liver had stopped functioning... and perhaps her kidneys... and that she would only be with us for a few more days. That was Friday... She's a much closer friend of Dar-Dar's and Lori's, and has been a part of their lives for years... that's how I met her. Wendy and I sort of developed this 'constantly joking with eachother not really getting very personal' relationship. She'd give me shit about something, I'd give her shit about something... no holds barred. And then as she was getting sicker and sicker I never knew quite how to cross that gap from the superficial, bitter, sarcastic exchanges we had to more intimate and personal conversations that I felt compelled to have with her. Saturday, I ended up being out of range on my cell phone for most of the day... so I couldn't hook up with Lori and Dar-Dar to see Wendy in the hospital. They had spent just about every waking minute with her since Thursday. And, when I finally connected with Lori I basically got the impression that it would be fine if I went with them Sunday morning, Wendy would still be hanging in there until then. Some things are not meant to be... Sunday morning, the three of us got up and grabbed breakfast at a diner near my house. As is normal with us, we were joking and laughing and having a great time. We were talking to strangers about motorcycles and laughing about sex. And very near the end of our meal, Dar-Dar just shut down. She wasn't present for our conversation anymore. And it had happened practically in the middle of a sentence... just like that. Lori was trying to rub her neck and bring her back to the conversation and it just wasn't happening. All Dar-Dar said was, 'We need to go.' So Dar-Dar went ahead, out of the diner... while Lori paid the check, I was inside with her. Apparently, Dar-Dar's phone rang while she was outside alone... Wendy's sister. The only thing Dar-Dar said to us as we emerged from the diner was, 'She's dead.' The ride to the Cayuga Medical Center was quiet. Dar-Dar would say a few things to break the silence. Mostly that the only thing she had wanted was to be there when it happened. And that she missed it. And all I could think about was that Wendy died that exact second that Dar-Dar shut down in the middle of our conversation. Its totally bizarre and strange to even imagine, and I'm the last person who would be saying something like this... but I know that's what happened. The rest of the morning was a blur. We got Dar-Dar to the hospital. Lori and I parked the car. Lori asked if I wouldn't rather just go home, but something made me say, 'No, I'll stay.' And then even more bizarre... when Lori asked if I wanted to go to the room or wait in the lounge, I said, 'I'll go with you.' (Did I think I'd feel more comfortable with Wendy than with the grieving family that I didn't know? I never know what to say to people who are in severe emotional states.) So I walked into Wendy's room where people (her family and closest friends) were holding her and crying and it hit me... 'I don't belong in here.' But at the same time I was paralyzed to move. I dont even know how long I stood there, just watching the whole scene from behind. Not involved. I was afraid to go up and hug anyone... I didn't feel like I had any right to be there let alone to attempt to console anyone. But was it ruder still to just go... not having even acknowledged what was happening in that room? Thankfully, Lori asked me to please go get some of the other family and so I had a reason to leave. And I sent a few folks back in... and waited in the lounge. I tried to be supportive of the family and Lori and Dar-Dar. I'm really terrible in these situations, because I feel so helpless. So mostly I just sat there, mute. Lori took me home a little later... and I spent the afternoon and most of the evening in bed... overwhelmed by what had happened that morning and trying to send good thoughts and energy to Wendy, her family and everyone who has to deal with loss. | private feedback | (0) public comments Friday, April 18, 2003 Y-M-C-A A funny animation (with music)... So don't click on this at work... Thanks! | private feedback | (0) public comments Thursday, April 17, 2003 Playin' Hooky Yesterday I skipped out on work. Earlier in the week, the guy I'm seein' was feeling a little under the weather and I wanted to make up for getting him sick by taking a day off of work to take care of him. So on Sunday we planned my taking a day off work Wednesday which is also HIS day off. In the meantime, he began to feel better and so we kept our plans but just did all kinds of fun shopping and spending time together. If the weather had been better we would have gone on a picnic lunch or maybe out of town. As it was getting chillier by the minute, we got breakfast at the diner near my house, browsed Pier 1, went all over town unsuccessfully looking for a futon cover, went to the salvation army to look at furniture (we found this great vintage chair and ottoman for him and a padded retro chair that only needs to be reupholstered for me. I figured for $5 I couldn't go wrong. My first reupholstery project!)... we also got some fabric, got dinner (I tried oysters, crayfish, and fried green tomatoes for the first time, YUM!), hung out for some drinks and then went out to play pool. But the best part is we just got to talk all day about everything under the sun... its amazing how much you can learn about someone spending a whole day shopping with them (especially for furniture). I mean, they'll point something out that they absolutely adore and you're thinking, 'Yikes!' or 'Absolutely!' You get a real sense for how they see themselves and the space they inhabit. Anyway, so yesterday was a great day... and I just wanted to share why I didn't get to post anything. Meanwhile, I'm back at the gym... I broke down and bought a gym membership a few days ago. I haven't worked out in almost a year and really had no excuse. I live, literally, two doors down from this gym. When I get up out of bed in the morning I practically step into their locker room. Plus, Penny, who I traveled with to Fort Lauderdale has a membership there and asked me if I would work out with her. So by joining I have an instant workout partner! This morning was my orientation and setting up my routine with the physical trainer. This gym is not near as great as my old gym (which is closing in a few weeks). There are fewer range-limiting machines (I'm not into free weights) and it's much smaller, almost claustrophobic. But I'll give it a shot for a few months. I didn't really do too much this morning (just acquaint myself with the space and the machines), but just being there was a great start to my day. I forgot how much better I felt when I was working out. If I force myself to get up an hour earlier every morning, it will hopefully become a routine. Now I just gotta start working on my diet... One thing at a time. | private feedback | (0) public comments Quote of the Day Just a bit 'o funny... You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'. Need I say more? Chris Rock | private feedback | (0) public comments Tuesday, April 15, 2003 Quote of the Day [This is] a sad day for the women of this state. Tim Stanley, executive director of the Minnesota chapter of the National Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action League. Referring to Minnesota's republican Gov. Tim Pawlenty signing into law a bill requiring that women wait 24 hours before having an abortion and be told information about the procedure including (most ridiculous among others) estimates of the pain a fetus might feel. | private feedback | (0) public comments Monday, April 14, 2003 Google using the term 'news' loosely I'm not sure if many of you know how Google News works... But Google News presents information culled from online 'news sources' and automatically arranges them to present the most 'relevant' news. Google News is highly unusual in that it offers a 'news service' compiled solely by computer algorithms and without human intervention. But some of the 'news' it includes is hardly 'news' at all. Today, for example, I came across 'an article' on the recent appearance by the Republican National Committee Chairman at a Human Rights Campaign event. Was it from CNN? Was it from the New York Times? MSNBC? No. It was from Focus on the Family, an anti-gay conservative activist group. And of course the 'article' was completely biased and ended up with a call to 'express your concern that RNC Chairman Marc Racicot would embrace the values of the homosexual activist movement' and provided contact information. Luckily, Google provides contact information where you can write to request they remove certain 'news sources' from their databases and add others. Write them at news-feedback@google.com asking them to remove Focus On The Family's supposed 'news' site from their database. (I can ask you to do that since I don't attempt to pass myself off as a 'news source.' But feel free to nominate my site to Google News. *laugh*) I understand that news can be biased and I'm not condoning censorship. But when the last paragraph actually asks the readers to do something or take some kind of biased action, I think you've crossed a line that keeps you from being classified as 'news.' Then you're just propaganda. | private feedback | (0) public comments Motivation... Chris sent me an email today with a bunch of images meant to make fun of those silly affirmational posters you see all over the workplace. My personal favorite...  Quote of the Day The war started right here on September 11 of 2001 George Pataki, Governor of New York, at ground zero last Thursday. Some folks (who should be more intelligent) just can't seem to let go of those fictitious links between Iraq and the terrorists responsible for 9/11. But he didn't stop there... In his infinite wisdom, Pataki suggested the statue of Saddam Hussein that was toppled on Wednesday in Baghdad be melted down and put in a girder in one of the new buildings planned for the "Ground Zero" site. WTF!? | private feedback | (0) public comments Rollercoaster weekend Low: Wanting to leave work early all afternoon Friday ‘cause I was still feeling under the weather (had a cold/flu all last week) but couldn’t because I had so much to do including an interview for summer interns. Yuck. High: Running into a different friend every few feet on my way home when I finally did leave the office, somehow breathing a second wind into me and keeping me out on the commons until 9-ish. Low: The guy I’m seein’ went out with friends and ‘forgot’ to call me. High: He finally called around 2 a.m. Saturday morning and felt so guilty that he forgot to call that he came over and spent the night with me to make up for it. ;-) Low: He had to get up early for work in the morning. High: Met a good friend for lunch and got a nap. Played some pinball, hung out with Lori, Darlene and Wendy for dinner and the entire first season of the Osbourne’s on DVD. (Man, I love that show!) Ended up staying Saturday night in Groton, rented ‘Far From Heaven’ which I had already seen on the big screen. Just as good the second time around. LOVE Julianne Moore. Oh yeah, and did laundry. Low: Sunday was our last day bowling. Very sad. We only took one point of a possible four. So, in the last four weeks we’ve taken exactly… one point. We slid from the #7 team to the #10 team. High: Bowling banquet was fun, and I won the 50/50 raffle… and even though our team won tenth place we still got $50 each. So I won $100 Sunday altogether. My friend says I can’t do ANYTHING responsible with it. ;-) Low: Although what I really wanted, I didn’t win. Some ‘fun’ awards were given out for things like best form and best backside, etc. I SO wanted to win the ‘best backside male’ award. I figured if I’m just a mediocre bowler and don’t win any bowling trophies at least my ass might win something! Not only did I NOT win, but when they announced the winner they said no one else was even in close contention. I think the announcer lied… I know at least four or five people that voted for me. Dammit! And maybe the biggest ‘low’ for the banquet was that the guy I’m seein’ couldn’t come because I had gotten him sick and he was home in bed. *big frown* Poor thing. High: The gay ‘Simpsons’ episode and getting to talk to a bunch of good friends on the phone last night. And the guy I’m seein’ calling to say ‘goodnight.’ | private feedback | (0) public comments Friday, April 11, 2003 New York Democratic Primary According to a Marist Poll released yesterday, Joe Lieberman leads the pack of Democratic contenders in New York's presidential primary. But its still an open race, the 'undecided' %age has gone from 19% to 35% within the last four months. Results: Joseph Lieberman 21% John Kerry 10% Al Sharpton 10% Richard Gephardt 8% Gary Hart 5% Howard Dean 4% John Edwards 2% Carol Moseley Braun 2% Dennis Kucinich 2% Bob Graham 1% Undecided 35% | private feedback | (0) public comments Thursday, April 10, 2003 Gay marriage in Massachusetts? A recent poll in Mass. shows a majority supporting gay and lesbian civil unions and marriages. The state's highest court is currently considering whether to permit gay couples to marry, a case that is being closely watched nationwide. No civil unions in Connecticut, at least for now... The legislature's judiciary committee pushed aside a far-reaching proposal that would have extended essentially all the rights of marriage to gay and lesbian couples. Meanwhile in Vermont... Republican state lawmakers have introduced a bill called the 'The Marriage Restoration Act' [Barf] which would repeal Vermont’s landmark civil union law and introduce a constitutional amendment prohibiting same-sex marriage. Luckily, the prevailing opinion is that the Vermont state legislature will NOT revisit this topic anytime soon. | private feedback | (0) public comments Tuesday, April 08, 2003 The Ice Storm... My friend Chris lives smack-dab in the center of the Upstate New York ice storm that happened a few days ago. Today, he sent me these pics which I thought were beautiful... considering how much damage the ice ended up causing. (Yes, that first picture is GRASS!!) 
 Quote of the Day To be very blunt and God watch over Paul's soul, I am a 99 percent improvement over Paul Wellstone. Just about on every issue. Freshman republican Sen. Norm Coleman's crass comment to Washington's Roll Call newspaper, comparing himself to the liberal Senator who died in a plane crash shortly before last fall's election, and whose seat Norm Coleman fills. | private feedback | (0) public comments The Angry Country Music Fan I was bummed-out last night when I realized I had missed CMT’s Flameworthy Video Music Awards… (CMT desperately wants to be the country version of MTV, developing all kinds of lame rip-off versions of MTV shows and pushing actual music videos farther and farther into the background.) Correction… I was bummed until I caught the ‘wrap-up’ show. Not only did Toby Keith (who I can barely stand) co-host alongside Pamela Anderson(!?!), he also won three awards for his utterly disgusting song titled ‘Courtesy of The Red, White and Blue (The Angry American).’ The lyrics to the song include the lines: ‘And you'll be sorry that you messed with/The U S of A/'Cause we'll put a boot in your ass/It's the American way.’ Mmmmm. Nothing like glorifying the fact that the US is one of the most violent countries … After all, it’s just ‘the American way.’ BE PROUD OF IT, DAMNIT! This song literally turns my stomach… or maybe it’s more the response that it gets. I totally respect Toby Keith’s right to believe it and sing it, but when so many people jump, hoot, holler and cheer when they hear those lines, I cringe. And I’m not the only one. Natalie Maines, lead singer of the Dixie Chicks has gone on record with her opinion. ‘Don't get me started,’ she told the Los Angeles Daily News about Keith's song. ‘I hate it. It's ignorant and it makes country music sound ignorant. It targets an entire culture--and not just the bad people who did bad things. You've got to have some tact. Anybody can write, 'We'll put a boot in your ass.’’ And to me, the inappropriateness of the song is even more stark when you contrast it with something like Alan Jackson’s beautiful tribute to the victims of 9/11 and reminder of the emotionally overwhelming experience we all shared, ‘Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning).’ Although, it is interesting to think about how the success of Alan Jackson’s song right after 9/11 echoed all the outpouring of support and goodwill from the world. And, how the sentiment in Toby Keith’s song (anger, bravado, and retaliation) represents much of what has turned many in the international community against us… ‘the American Way’ | private feedback | (0) public comments Five months too late... In a recent Zogby poll, 61% of upstate New York voters say they wouldn't elect George Pataki again. 53% of likely voters across the state say they believe the state is headed in the wrong direction. | private feedback | (0) public comments Monday, April 07, 2003 The power of the Internet... Stuck on the side of a newspaper vending machine, I saw a bumper sticker that said 'Meetup for Dean in 2004' followed by a URL. So I decided to check out the site, hosted by Meetup.com. How brilliant! Folks are using these free Web technologies to get people interested and involved in supporting their favorite candidates in a very grassroots kinda way. 72 people from Ithaca had signed up to support Dean, and at the last meeting (April 2nd), some 35 people showed up! There were even pictures of the April meeting online. So I signed up... even though its a bit too early to pick my absolute favorite. But I'm definitely excited about Howard Dean's candidacy nonetheless. I mean, come on, this is the guy who signed the Vermont Civil Unions bill into law and makes no apologies about it. Then, I thought I'd see if any of the other candidates had Meetup groups in Ithaca. I know this is hardly a scientific poll, but judging by the numbers of people who signed up at Meetup.com alone, Howard Dean is way ahead of the pack here in Ithaca. The closest candidate was still in the single digits. (I was the ONLY person to sign up for the Carol Moseley Braun 'meetup' which I did before knowing how to check if there were any other Ithacans signed up... That will be a lonely meeting, for sure.) Vive l'Internet!! | private feedback | (0) public comments ’Do you think we *look* like a couple?’ You know, there are those couples that look like they belong together. You see them together and you’re like…’Awww, you guys make the cutest couple.’ I’m never sure exactly what it is that makes these couples appear like they belong together… whether it’s tangible or intangible. Maybe they’re similar physically, or they dress alike… or maybe something about the energy they give off when they’re together. I used to have a friend that would rate my potential dates on how well we ‘looked’ together. More often than not, he would say, ‘Well, you two just don’t look like you go together.’ Or on those rare occasions, ‘Yes, you two definitely would make a cute couple.’ And its very hard to evaluate from within the relationship. I was standing in front of my bathroom mirror this weekend with the guy I’m kinda seeing, trying to evaluate for myself if we ‘went well together.’ I didn’t come to any conclusion but a tentative, ‘yes’ because I knew my response was biased. So, yesterday, I couldn’t wait any longer and in the middle of a leisurely reading of the Sunday New York Times, I posed the question that I started this post with… ‘Do you think we *look* like a couple?’ In response, his head tilted to one side, and he squinted his eyes. He had sort of a little grin on his face. The resulting conversation went something like this… HIM: ‘Why do you ask?’ ME: ‘Mmmm, I’m just curious.’ HIM: ‘That’s really funny that you ask, ‘cause I asked my friend that same question on Friday night.’ ME: ‘Really? And what did she say?’ I got a big smile on my face and kissed his forehead before adding in a playful voice, ‘She better-the-fuck have said yes.’ HIM: ‘She said at first she didn’t think so. But when she saw how we acted when we were together, she totally changed her mind.’ Then he paused and added, ‘Do you remember the other day when we were standing together in front of your bathroom mirror? And I got this big grin on my face? And you asked me what I was thinking about? And I said, ‘Nothing.’ And I wouldn’t tell you?’ ME: ‘Yeah’ HIM: ‘Well, I had just made up my mind that we looked great together. But I wasn’t ready to announce it to you just yet.’ I don’t think you could have slapped the smile off my face… | private feedback | (0) public comments Quote of the Day It is basically an attempt to muzzle a Christian, and, I think, at the bottom of it all is liberals today are not going be satisfied until every Christian is walking around wearing a muzzle. Minnesota State Rep. Arlon Lindner’s lawyer, in response to Lindner’s having to appear before the ethics committee for homophobic statements during debates on legislation dealing with gay/lesbian issues. During debate on two bills by the representative that would repeal gay rights laws in the state, Lindner said gays and lesbians falsely attempt to portray themselves as victims in society. He then claimed that as an example gays were lying when they cited thousands of gays who were exterminated or sent to concentration camps by the Nazis. Days later he angered HIV/AIDS patients and African Americans when he said: ‘If you want to sit around and wait until America becomes another African continent, you do that,’ Lindner said. ‘But I'm going to do something about that.’ Of course, Lindner is a Republican... | private feedback | (0) public comments ’I get to have a sleepover at Shane’s!?!?’ I got to have my cutie patootie princess, Keelinn, stay with me for the entire weekend… She came after work Friday and went home yesterday morning. I had a blast, we colored (a lot), we watched ‘George of The Jungle’ on the Disney channel, watched ‘Reba,’ listened to a lot of Faith Hill, went to a Pow Wow on Saturday with Lori, and then to the Cornell Vet School open house with a whole bunch of people, had a play date with a friend’s son… had breakfast Sunday morning at the State Street Diner, and went to the psychic fair at the Holiday Inn. I’m sure I’m forgetting something… besides making her brush her teeth before bed. (Hey, reminding children to go potty and brush their teeth are not exactly daily habits of mine.) *grin* Earlier in the week, she had instructed me what groceries to buy (Only a five year old could convince me to spend $60 on junk food, and semi-junk food including hot dogs, tater tots, juice boxes, etc.) And in the end, we didn’t really eat too much. I still have plenty of stuff to make ice cream sundaes with, a whole box of peeps, and a 2-liter bottle of Vanilla Coke. I didn’t even get to practice my grilled-cheese-sandwich-making skills. *shrug* And we avoided the ‘tooth fairy incident.’ Keelinn’s first loose tooth popped up earlier this week and she was determined to lose it at my house if at all possible. (Mostly cause she wanted to see if the tooth fairy could find her at my apartment.) She kept wiggling that tooth all weekend, just hoping it would fall out. And of course, I was tormented with the fact that *I* would have to be the first tooth fairy… whatever I did would set precedent for lost teeth to follow. Oh, and her hair… Dar dar, I swear I brushed her hair. I let *her* brush her own hair, then *I* brushed her hair… multiple times. I dunno what kind magic you have, but no more than ten minutes after the brush last touched Keelinn’s hair, it would appear as though she just rolled out of bed. And no amount of pleading with her to put her hair back in a ponytail would convince her. So, pre-tooth fairy worries, my biggest fear had been doing her hair in the morning. Little did I know my worries were founded. No drama, no diva fits, and not one tear shed. We did good, the two of us. But boy was I ready for a nap yesterday afternoon. | private feedback | (0) public comments Friday, April 04, 2003 Quote of the Day What we need now is not just a regime change in Saddam Hussein and Iraq, but we need a regime change in the United States. John Kerry, Democratic Senator and declared presidential candidate. Of course, republicans called his comments 'desperate and inappropriate' to which Kerry's response was unapologetic. I like John Kerry just a little more today than I did yesterday... | private feedback | (0) public comments Thursday, April 03, 2003 Comments... The 'comments' link doesn't seem to be fully-functioning (in the sense that it doesn't tell me if people leave comments anymore). So, if you're leaving comments and you haven't heard back from me, that's most likely why. My feedback form, however, works 95% of the time... so feel free to drop me notes that way! Thanks! | private feedback | (0) public comments And the money comes rolling in... The Democrats vying for the top nomination are releasing their first Quarter 2003 fundraising numbers... John Edwards: $7.4 million John Kerry: $7 million Joe Lieberman: $3 million Howard Dean: $2.6 million Dick Gephardt, Dennis Kucinich, Bob Graham, Al Sharpton, and Carol Moseley Braun have yet to file their reports. | private feedback | (0) public comments Tuesday, April 01, 2003 Quotes of the Day There are more blacks in prison than in college. Reverend Jesse Jackson, sharing a scary factoid outside the Supreme Court yesterday where justices were hearing oral arguments regarding affirmative action policies at the University of Michigan and its law school. *****
I’m white and I got in. Stop whining. A sign carried by a supporter of the University of Michigan’s affirmative action policies at the same rally. *****
… and on a more personal note I thought this quote from a friend of mine was so… poetic, for lack of a better term… Its something I’ve always thought but was never able to put into words. The author shall remain nameless… You now have a mission.... find me an interesting straight man. He must be a symphony of opposites like you, M, and I. This is where I get stuck. You find someone who is responsible, good parent, good person, works hard, and they're totally boring. You find someone who likes a little swing in their life, and they're totally irresponsible. I want both. ‘a symphony of opposites’… sounds like perfection… | private feedback | (0) public comments Jeans I’m fortunate that I have a job where I can wear jeans to work if I don’t have a client meeting or a fancy-schmancy presentation to make. In fact, sometimes, if I know clients really well, I still wear jeans to meetings… like today. I’m downright spoiled when it comes to work attire. And I’m also very particular about the types of jeans that I’ll buy and wear. I have never been a fan of REALLY DARK blue jeans and I can’t stand those jeans that come looking like they’ve been previously worn, I think ‘ANTIQUED’ is the PC term. (Personally, I like to know the origin of all the dirt on my pants, thank you very much.) The pre-dirtied jeans look was a trend I was going to let pass me by. But, I was out shopping on Saturday at GAP, having just had a nice cup of coffee and some great conversation with Lori and Penny (it was just like our Fort Lauderdale trip minus the sun, sand, and warm weather clothing… you get the picture), and I stumbled upon the sales rack. I don’t often find many 28-waist jeans on the sales rack but there was a pair of really dark blue, loose fit, and somewhat antiqued-looking jeans in a very coarse fabric that I thought could never be comfortable. And I said, ‘Hey, for $20 I can wear them around the house!’ And then I saw a really great deep-red t-shirt with my lucky number ‘12’ stitched on it and I thought I had made the perfect outfit. I wore the jeans and the t-shirt out that night, and got so many compliments on how they accentuate my posterior (among other things)… let’s just say they’re now my FAVORITE pair of jeans in the whole wide world. So much for trying to buck fashion trends. | private feedback | (0) public comments |
Hey! I'm Shane... a proud gay progressive Democrat who has recently relocated to New York City from Ithaca, NY. As I am no longer in Ithaca, I haven't quite decided the fate of this blog. Drop me a line!
NY Politics '06 * Tompins County LGBT Dems * Tompkins County Dem Committee * New York State Dem Committee State/National Politics Hillary Clinton for President Victory Fund Daily Kos Center for American Progress Political Wire The Note National Stonewall Dems New York Stonewall Dems Progressive Democrats of America Super blogs Getting married, sort of... StudioOneQ Kathy Luz Herrera Good As You Queerty Monkeyhutts Ithaca Action Network white male consumer Elliott Back Ithaca is Home Living in Dryden AlfredNYC AarHead drdjmike JaseWells Govind's Stochastic Comments urbanskies.com Joey Destino Rebel Prince donut jelly Burnt Orange Report Slouching Towards Banality The Student Nurse Quistilton Family Blog Observe But Do Not Interfere The Search for Love in Manhattan ISleepInADrawer.com That Happy Feeling NYCO's Blog greg3d Tales of a Shrink Blog search engines Blogarama Review My Site Blog Search Engine popdex Blog Directory eTalkingHead Archive September 2001 October 2001 November 2001 December 2001 January 2002 February 2002 March 2002 April 2002 May 2002 June 2002 July 2002 August 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 June 2007 November 2007 |
