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Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Strange Poll-mates
In perhaps another indication that our country is split right down the middle ideologically, Dubbya and Hillary Clinton are currently the most admired man and woman in America, according to a poll released Monday. Hillary beat out Oprah Winfrey, first lady Laura Bush, and Condoleezza Rice for the honor. Dubbya beat out Colin Powell, the Pope, and Bill Clinton for his title.
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Saturday, December 27, 2003

Another Pema Lesson
A friend reminded me that I missed one of the better Pema lessons in my post a few days ago...

You do not have to be a victim of your own mind.

Thanks, Sally!
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Christmas...
Merry Christmas! Two days late...

As I assume is the case for most people, the holidays have been a little crazy for me. All the added stresses of how you're going to get home, for how long, what gifts you're going to get for whom, who you'll have time to see, how many "Merry Christmas" phone calls you can make ON Christmas, etc., etc., etc. plagued me for the last week. Actually, its kind of funny, because Christmas really wasn't even on my radar until the weekend before when I went to a friend's party.

One of the guests had kids who go between two parents for the holidays and so they were exchanging gifts THAT weekend because it was the last time they'd see eachother before the holidays. And I remember hearing this, my stomach jumping into my throat, and thinking, "Holy shit, it's almost Christmas!" I hadn't done a lick of shopping and I hadn't even figured out when I was going home. I had five days and counting.

Shopping this year was really funny. The only time I had was during the evenings, and so I had coordinated with a friend to go with her. We got to the store an hour before they closed... spent the entire hour in the store and finished almost all my shopping. The cart was literally overflowing with stuff for friends and family and my new apartment. :-) We got to the counter and they ran my debit card only to find out that their card machines had gone down. And me without cash. All that shopping... hurrying, and I had to leave an entire cartful of stuff at the counter to come back for the next day. I just felt so UN-accomplished. I didn't have anything to take home for my whole night of marathon shopping! Then we swung over to Target to get a secret santa gift (it was the only thing I NEEDED before the next day)... I bought this cool picture frame... only to get it home and start wrapping it... and realized it was busted. And I definitely would have no time the next day to return it and/or get something else. I ended up not participating in the secret santa extravaganza. Ugh. My holiday spirit was starting to fade.

But I DID have a christmas tree this year. Lauren IM'd me asking if my apartment was unlocked. Of course this strange question had me a little freaked out. I said, "No, it's definitely locked." She asked a few more strange questions about the location of my couch and if we could go hang out at my place... she NEVER just asks to hang out at my place so I thought this odd. But I agreed, she picked me up from the cafe... and she surprised me with a christmas tree. Well... a half of a christmas tree. Seems her neighbor had bought a tree that was too big... had cut off the top and donated the bottom half of it to her out of the kindness of his heart. So we literally put up the ass-end of a christmas tree in my living room. She even brought ornaments and a christmas album (which I quickly switched for my favorite xmas album, RuPaul's HO HO HO with such classics as "RuPaul the Red-Nosed Drag Queen" and "All I Want For Christmas is Liposuction."). My favorite was when Lauren took a few ornaments of what I thought were boats out of the bag and started laughing hysterically. She said, "I never quite appreciated these ornaments until I hung them on YOUR tree." The boats were actually "Ferries" which said, "Washington State Ferries" in bold white letters on the side. We both had a good laugh at that pun.

I went home to Rochester to see my mom, my brother and his girlfriend and my two nephews... Jason who is a little over 3 now, and Jordan who is just 3 months. What a great time I had with all of them! Jordan was tough to play with being so little and wanting to sleep all the time, but I got to spend all kinds of quality time with Jason. He kept calling to me, wouldn't let me out of his sight. If I walked out of the room I'd hear him yell, "Where is Shane!?" And then I'd peek back into the room and say, "Right Here Buddy." And he'd run up to me and say, "OK!" It was such a treat Christmas morning when he was unwrapping gifts, I got him some old-school favorites of mine... lincoln logs, a ball and glove, and letter blocks... as soon as he opened them he wanted to play and passed on opening the rest of his gifts. I was so glad that he didn't put them aside in favor of the noise-making plastic gifts everyone else got him. There's hope for him yet. :-)

And then I did some after-Christmas shopping with Cheri and her momat Eastview Mall. What a trip that was... shopping, punctuated by random stops to eat (Yummy chinese at P.F. Chang's for lunch and Glenwood Pines on the way home) and play games (Skee-Ball, pinball, and some arcade version of bowling). Cheri and her mom are very competitive. Playing games with them went something like this, one game... followed by Cheri's mom saying that she wanted to play another cause one wasn't enough... and if someone different won the second game then you had to play a playoff round for best two out of three. :-) Too much fun. :-)

I also saw Mona Lisa Smile somewhere in there which I really liked and I'll write more about later...

I plan on having a pretty low-key weekend... Until I get to blog some more... I hope your holidays are fantastic!!
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Tuesday, December 23, 2003

Just in time for the holidays...
I've rediscovered the gift of Pema Chodron and have started to read with highlighter in hand... some of the better nuggets of wisdom follow...

"Unconditional compassion for ourselves leads naturally to unconditional compassion for others."

"Be more curious than afraid."

"By acting out or repressing we invite suffering, bewilderment, or confusion to intensify."

"When the resistance is gone, so are the demons."

"You need to work with both the suffering of one person and the universal suffering of all. If you were only to extend out to all sentinent beings, the practice would be very theoretical. It would never actually touch your heart. On the other hand, if you were to work only with your own or someone else's fixation, it would lack vision. It would be too narrow."

"The things that really drive us nuts have enormous energy in them. That is why we fear them."

"The first noble truth is that there is suffering. People harm each other--we harm others and others harm us. To know that is clear seeing."

"Be grateful to everyone."

"You should never have expectations for other people. Just be kind to them."

"When you've met your match, you've found a teacher."
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Saturday, December 20, 2003

They've been doing it to us for years...
For years, conservatives have been sending droves of followers to various web polls in order to skew the results. So now they post one of their own... Let's have a say.

Go to the American Family Association (i.e. Anti-Gay) Web site to take the Gay Marriage Poll... And vote your conscience.

Thanks, Lauren, for the link!
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Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Bill Maher
I was lucky enough to catch Bill Maher's appearance on Larry King Live tonight.

Bill Maher talked about it being a 'banner year for republican hypocrisy.' You've got Bill Bennett and his gambling, Rush Limbaugh and his drugs, Ah-nold and his groping, Strom Thurmond's fathering a daughter with a black woman... too true.

And then I was reminded that he has a Web site (how could I forget, it's linked from my page over there). I went, and found this really funny take-off on a vintage poster available for download.

I love me some Bill Maher.
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Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Froogle
I'm a HUGE fan of Google. When they launched an 'image search' I was in heaven. When they launched Google News I was ecstatic. And of course I love how they change their logo depending on the holiday, season or famous person's birthday... so great.

Today, when I saw the little link that said Shopping? Try Froogle, I thought... Google, you have really outdone yourselves! Perhaps this is the answer for someone like me who never bought a thing online before consulting MySimon.com (a site where you could compare online prices ).

I typed in Reba's album 'Room To Breathe' into Froogle search. (I must have that on the brain.) So far so good. WalMart.com has it for $9.88. Best Buy has it for $9.99. A bunch of other stores have it for more than that. Then, I typed in "Goldfish Shower Curtain" (which, if anyone is curious... I DO want for christmas *grin*). But this time, some of the pictures of the product were missing and the prices that were listed in the search were off. They were actually prices for products above or below them on the same company's page. Bummer! It kinda sucks to think that you're going to get the Goldfish Shower Curtain for $19.99 and then get to the actual site and realize that it's $24.95. A little bit of the thrill of bargain hunting gets lost.

I'm sure Google will take care of this little glitch in time. (Froogle is still listed as a "Beta" launch.) So go forth and shop... just brace yourself for minor surprises along the way.
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Monday, December 15, 2003

Another 'Reba' mention in a gay magazine...
Yup, right there in the Advocate's Great Gift Ideas section... nestled somewhere between the feather boas for dogs (!?) and the Queer as Folk picture book was Reba's new album, Room To Breathe.

And it really IS a great album. I've had it on repeat for a few weeks now... It starts my day off on the right foot (one of the perks of living on my own again is that I get to listen to music in the shower in the morning without worrying about waking anyone up. I have totally missed that.) *grin*

One of my favorite songs... It Just Has To Be This Way has been particularly timely...

The sound of your voice.
The touch of your skin.
If we go there,
It will start all over again.
So don't even call.
There's no need for checkin' in.
If it's really over.
Let it just be over.

We gave all we could.
We fought the good fight.
But no matter how we loved.
We just couldn't get it right.
It hurts to let go.
But it's harder hanging on.
I don't want it to be over.
But we know that its over.

No, we won't be sharin' coffee.
Or havin' lunch from time to time.
I won't ask about your family.
Please don't ask me about mine.
This was never what I wanted.
And it's killin' me to say,
It just has to be this way.

And even if I change my mind,
Dont let me hurt me one more time.
Stay away from me.
Be as cold as you can be.
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Friday, December 12, 2003

My neighbors...
Not too long ago I was talking to an acquaintance and they said. "Have you moved?" I said, "Yeah, just this weekend, how did you know?" And they said, "Cause I know the guy who lives downstairs from you and he said some guy named Shane has moved into the building and that he thinks he's gay."

OK, don't laugh too hard. But that's funny, right?

Up until yesterday I hadn't run into a soul coming into or going out of my building. (There are only four apartments, with multiple points of exit.) Yesterday, however, I think I met that neighbor with the gaydar. He was very nice, introduced himself... and then this morning I met a man who introduced himself as my neighbor's boyfriend who helped me carry some things to my apartment.

Gays and Lesbians everywhere... isn't Ithaca great?
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Quote of the Day
All you need is a baby or a job.

Said to a female friend of mine.

In honor of said quote, I've added a new link to my page...
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A little xmas cheer
Shake the snowglobe...

Thanks, Sally!
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Thursday, December 11, 2003

There's something terribly wrong with this picture...
From CNN.com: President Bush on Thursday defended his decision to exclude countries that did not support the U.S.-led effort to topple Iraqi President Saddam Hussein from bidding on some $18.6 billion in reconstruction contracts. But he added that he still wants those countries to contribute to Iraq's recovery by forgiving its debts.

Why does he even get to decide who gets development contracts in Iraq? Because we took occupation on as a hobby and now want to play god with their fledgling democracy? Shouldn't continued involvement be up to the U.N.? Some bigger body in the world? Shouldn't Dubbya be happy to turn over the responsibility of rebuilding this country to someone else so he can finally wipe the egg off his face?

And the fact that he can stare reporters and other human beings in the eyes and defend that position... this man who was supposed to come to Washington as a uniter... has not only divided the U.S. but has polarized the world as well.

What an arrogant prick.
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Boggles my mind...
"Let me just say to you, if there's any person in the United States of America who ought to have respect for waiting until the votes are counted, and completely counted, it's Al Gore."

That was presidential candidate John Kerry, who is apparently pissed that Al Gore endorsed Howard Dean for President. Kerry accused Gore of trying to influence the outcome of the Jan. 27 primary in Dean's favor.

Well isn't that what endorsements are? You line up endorsements in hopes of getting more support because your 'electability factor' increases as more elected officials support you. Why is this any different than when John Kerry hyped his endorsement by California Senator Diane Feinstein? He hoped it would give him a boost, of course. What kind of ridiculous statement is it to say that Al Gore, as an individual, can't endorse whoever he likes?

I have my own opinions about Al Gore's endorsement on its merits, but for John Kerry to say something like this is just plain ridiculous.

Vote Carol Moseley Braun for President.
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Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Green Party Makes Impressive Showing in Mayor's Race...
Democrat Gavin Newsom (right) defeated a surprisingly strong Green Party challenger, Matt Gonzalez (left) yesterday in San Fran's Mayoral runoff election. Newsom received 118,651 votes, or 53 percent. Matt Gonzalez got 107,030 votes, or 47 percent.

Then the mainstream press begins to show their bias...
'Gonzalez's insurgent campaign was overwhelmed by Newsom's superior financial and organizational efforts. Newsom's campaign collected more than $3.6 million for the race, outspending Gonzalez by more than 8-to-1.'

Overwhelmed? I'd hardly say overwhelmed. I'd say overwhelmed if Gonzalez lost by 70/30 or even 60/40. But a 6 point spread with the challenger getting 47%? Come on, now.

This is really an amazing story for the Greens... and ought to be spun around the other way... what an IMPRESSIVE showing for someone who was outspent 8-to-1 and resides in a city where only 3 percent of registered voters are registered Greens. That means a whole bunch of folks are disenfranchised by party politics as usual and crossed lines to vote for Gonzalez.

But the big question is, will FreeRepublic.com have to add San Francisco to it's Axis of Evil now? Boulder, Berkeley and Ithaca seem like small potatoes when San Fran almost got a Green Mayor.
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The Last Democratic Debate of the Year
I didn't catch last night's debate in New Hampshire, but I did read the transcript this morning... I laughed out loud when I read this exchange:

JOE LIEBERMAN: First, I want to ask Reverend Sharpton, in those daily conversations with God, would you please mention my name, Al? 

AL SHARPTON: I have. And I'll tell you, in private, his response.
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Tuesday, December 09, 2003

Shane on Public Access
My recently taped appearance on "Over the Rainbow" will air on Time Warner's public access station, (channel 13 in Ithaca if I'm not mistaken) on the following dates...

Tues. 12/16 @ 7:00 pm
Thurs. 12/18 @ 5:00 pm
Fri. 12/19 @ 9:30 pm
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Quote of the Day
“Schwarzenegger is dropping a plan to hire a private investigator to examine allegations that he groped at least 16 women over the last three decades. The governor is busy with the state’s budget crisis and doubts that such an inquiry would appease critics."

- An aide to Governor Schwarzenegger

Schwarzenegger had promised to look into the charges following the election, in the final days of the recall campaign.
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Monday, December 08, 2003

Conservative Idiots
From Democratic Underground's Top Ten Conservative Idiot List

Ernest Gallet Elementary School: Hey kids, remember - it's good to tell lies. At least, that seems to be the conservative moral of Marcus McLaurin's story. Marcus - who is seven years old - got into trouble at school when another child asked him about his mother and father. Marcus explained that his mother is gay, and that gay means "when a girl likes a girl." Marcus wasn't lying - his mother is gay, she's divorced from Marcus's father and they live with her partner. But for telling the truth, he was scolded in front of his class, sent to the Principal's office, barred from recess, and ordered to attend "behavior clinic" where he was forced to write repeatedly, "I will never use the word 'gay' in school again." Congratulations, homophobic conservative wackos - you've outdone yourselves this time. But it gets even crazier - an assistant principal called Marcus's mother to explain that he was in trouble, and told her that Marcus had used "foul words" and that he "didn't feel comfortable" using them over the phone. I mean, for crying out loud, what's wrong with these people?!? I guess the new method of preaching family values to seven year olds is to ridicule them in front of the class, tell them that their parents are evil, and make them write a pledge to never, ever discuss their family in school. Compassionate conservatism strikes again.
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Thanks...
... to Mizzou Guy for adding me to his links.
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All eyes on San Fran
Left-Of-Center San Francisco has a unique political situation. A runoff election to see whether a Democrat or a Green will take over the reigns of the city. Al Gore, among other prominent Dems, has campaigned for the Democratic nominee looking to shut-out the third-party. The New York Times had a great summary article from yesterday's paper. You'll need a login name to view this article.
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Quote of the Day
'I voted for what I thought was best for the country. Did I expect Howard Dean to go off to the left and say, 'I'm against everything'? Sure. Did I expect George Bush to f*** it up as badly as he did? I don't think anybody did.'

- John Kerry (Yes, that's THE f-word.)
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Friday, December 05, 2003

Add "entrepreneur" to list of descriptors...
For months (ever since my old office closed and I lost my job there), I've been working with a co-worker from that office and another designer to lay the foundation for opening a new graphic design studio in Ithaca. In the last few months we've managed to set up accounting, get some new clients and maintain some from the old office, begin strategic partnerships, and build a solid portfolio.

The only thing we didn't have fell into place last week when we found office space and negotiated a rent agreement. We should be moving in by the end of December... which will give us a base of operations and the ability to push our capabilities even further.

In the meantime, I'll still keep my part-time job, but I'm very excited about the possibilities for me, career-wise in 2004. And I will keep you up-to-date on the studio's progress, as appropriate.
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Bush Photo Generator...
Check this out...
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Thursday, December 04, 2003

My favorite movie season...
Fall is the time to go to the movie theater at least once a week. Assuming for short memories, major studios roll-out their most likely oscar-contenders at the end of the nominating cycle. In the past seven days, I've seen...


Sylvia
Of course you already know how the movie will end, but Sylvia is worth seeing... once. Even knowing Sylvia's fate, we aren't prevented from getting attached to this character and spending two-hours trying to figure out if what torments her comes from internal or external sources. The movie is beautifully filmed, a little hard to sit through, but Gwyneth Paltrow pulls off a fantastic performance as Sylvia Plath. If Gwyneth is not nominated for an oscar for this, there is no justice.


The Station Agent
A much more pleasant viewing experience than Sylvia, is The Station Agent about a dwarf that inherits a train station in New Jersey, makes it his home, and accidentally makes a few friends along the way. The movie is definitely character driven, creating three very rich characters that at first don't really seem to have much in common... their interactions going from almost awkward and forced to comfortable and natural. The few supporting characters bring extra depth... you'll find yourself laughing out loud during this one.
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Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Gay Day in the Opinion Pages of the Ithaca Journal
I wanted to share the following guest column from The Ithaca Journal today. (There was also this letter to the editor.)

THE CASE FOR SAME-SEX MARRIAGES

By REV. RICHARD S. GILBERT, Interim minister of the First Unitarian Church of Ithaca.

I grew up not far from here --a product of rural, conservative Upstate New York. In junior and senior high school I heard all those anti-gay jokes and I did not lift my voice to challenge such dehumanization. Only in theological school did I address this issue from an ethical perspective.

My change in attitude was painfully slow. I moved from thinking homosexuality was a sin, to understanding it as a sickness, to viewing it as a variant life style, to affirming it as an alternative life style where love is. And now I publicly affirm my support of same-sex marriage.

My experience in knowing gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people is what has most powerfully changed my mind and heart. I have observed many of my homosexual parishioners living lives of loving commitment, and I have happily performed several same-sex religious union ceremonies.

My denomination, the Unitarian Universalist Association, supports my right to do so and has been deeply involved in the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruling that gay people have a constitutional right to marry.

There are, of course, many arguments against same-sex marriage. It is said that it will dilute the meaning of marriage. But I have a hard time thinking how recognizing same-sex love legally will affect my feeling toward my wife of 42 years. I rejoice that in this age of casual commitments and high divorce rates people want to make a lifetime commitment to live with and love another human being.

Some will say that legalizing same-sex marriage will only institutionalize sexual perversity. Well, what is sexual perversity? It is a relationship where love is not --where one person exploits or abuses another -- where the other becomes a means to an end rather than an end in him or herself. That is sexual perversity. Two consenting adults who wish to form a family ought to be encouraged to do so. It is a simple matter of human rights.

It is argued that marriage is designed for procreation. But what of all those heterosexual couples who do not procreate, by choice or by chance? And what about gay people who are parents by a previous heterosexual relationship, or have adopted? Where love is -- there is a family worth supporting.

There are those who believe marriage will not work for homosexuals for lack of commitment over time. Those who argue in this way have perhaps not observed the loving and committed same sex relationships I have seen over my years in ministry.

I think of a lesbian couple with whom I celebrated 25 years of being together, and another lesbian couple together for the same length of time who eagerly traveled to Vermont for a civil union ceremony.

Some say that same-sex marriage is wrong because it is not biblical. The Bible is an ancient and rich collection of religious writings collected by people over time as they struggled with life's ultimate issues. It is decidedly a human book, often contradictory, conditioned by the times in which it was written and to be interpreted in the light of modern scholarship.

The Bible, to be sure, has homophobic passages, yet there are far more strictures on heterosexual than on homosexual behavior. It would be interesting to ask if those who believe the Bible should be our legal guide really want capital punishment for homosexuality, or adultery, or lending money with interest, as some passages recommend. This was an ancient ethical code. Our understanding of human rights has ever become more inclusive.

The sin of Sodom and Gomorrah, often touted as homosexuality, is regarded by most scholars as inhospitality. In the Jewish Midrash, an interpretation of Hebrew scriptures, the original sin of Sodom was not sexual at all, but selfishness.

We might note that the Ten Commandments, so much in the news today, forbid adultery, but say nothing about homosexuality.

Jesus makes no mention of it. Paul opposed homosexuality, but we should remember he also said women should not be heard in church, that wives should obey their husbands and even supported slavery. He was a man of his time.

No, I think we should read the Bible in its larger context of love and justice -- the ethical monotheism of the Hebrew prophets, the Jesus of the Parable of the Good Samaritan and the Golden Rule, and the Paul of First Corinthians 13: "And the greatest of these is love."

We are all more human than otherwise. Where love is, we walk on holy ground. Let us be grateful any time we see expressions of committed love in this troubled world.
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Irony of the Day...
The crew responsible for hijacking the electoral process here in the states and installing an illegitimate president is responsible for orchestrating the creation of an electoral process in Iraq.

Just think about that for a second or two...
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One of the reasons I don't support him...
'We did not do gay marriage in Vermont. When I had the chance, we chose not to do it.'

'Marriage started out as a religious institution, and most people still think of it that way.''


So why embrace civil unions, rather than simply marriage as Canada did earlier this year?

'Because it's easier. And the religious connotation of marriage makes gay marriage a very difficult issue. It is a religious issue. You can't get away from it. You can say well some marriage is civil and some is religious, but people in this country think of marriage as a religious institution.'

- Howard Dean

Wow, maybe even Howard Dean doesn't understand the difference between Church and State.
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Tuesday, December 02, 2003

Quote of the Day
'Well, he's either gay... or he's Canadian. My vote's Canadian.'

- A friend who shall remain nameless.
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Self-Administered Exposure Therapy
Riding in a car with Lori, somewhere between Cayuga Heights and Dryden, I decided exactly what I need to get my self-discovery journey back on track after an eight-month hiatus.

Among other things, I need a little self-administered exposure therapy (SAET). I need to put myself in as many uncomfortable situations as I can and see how I react to them. Pema says, and I agree, we learn the most about ourselves when we're uncomfortable and in adverse situations. But before I run off to the straight bars by my lonesome (definitely a goal for farther off...), I accepted an invitation to be on a public access television show.

I have a huge fear of speaking in public and of being in front of a camera. So, when I normally would have made excuses and turned down an opportunity to be a guest on our local gay-issues public access show, Over The Rainbow, I forced myself to say yes. Even a last-minute switch of topics didn't deter me. Instead of being interviewed about "Coming and Living Out", I talked about "Gays & Politics" definitely an area I feel comfortable in.

Of course I had built it up in my head to make myself nervous. I thought, "I'd better think about what I'm going to say if they ask X and Y." But the the beauty of the SAET plan... is to demostrate to myself that the reality of a situation is never quite as we imagine it... in my case, nothing to fear. Honestly, I don't remember saying anything that I thought was idiotic and as soon as the conversation started it felt like it was already over. I remember when the host said, "And that's a good place to wrap it up..." and thinking "Gosh, is that it?"

28 minutes went awful fast.

Step two is to actually watch the show (I hate watching or listening to a recorded version of myself) and be able to ask for and accept constructive criticism about how well (or rotten) my friends think it went. That will also be a difficult exercise for me, maybe more so than the first part.

As soon as I get them, I'll post the air dates for the episode... (Sorry for those of you that don't live in Ithaca.)

And I'll let you know when I'm ready to hang out in a straight bar... *grin*
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Can you identify this woman?
I was watching CNN's Larry King Live last night at the cafe, and I thought, "Wow, Larry's interviewing a transgendered individual. That's cool!" The mute was on, so I could only read the captions, and the caption said something about the person's lawsuit with the Pentagon being settled. And I thought, "Geesh, the Pentagon disriminated against a Transgendered individual! No big surprise there."

Turns out I wasn't far off the mark, it was a post-plastic surgery Linda Tripp. (Talk about throwing money out the window.)

"I would do it again," [start the whole monica lewinsky drama] she said. "I think the country needed to know the arrogance -- the reckless arrogance -- that was going on in the Oval Office."

I'd be interested to know what she thinks about Dubbya...
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Hey! I'm Shane... a proud gay progressive Democrat who has recently relocated to New York City from Ithaca, NY. As I am no longer in Ithaca, I haven't quite decided the fate of this blog.

Drop me a line!
shane@happilystuckinithaca.com

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